11 Everyday Things That Feel Deeply Awkward to Introverts

If it sometimes feels like extraverts have set the standard for how we’re supposed to navigate the world, and introverts are expected to follow along as best they can, you're not imagining things.

Research shows that extraverts are overrepresented in social networks, so the way we interact tends to favor their style. This is despite the fact that introverts comprise anywhere between 25% and 56% of the population, depending on which culture you’re studying and which personality system you use. That’s a lot of people trying to fit into a world shaped for someone else. 

While we do what we have to do to get by, it isn’t always easy. Situations that extraverts breeze through can trigger instant squirming and blushing for introverts—like these 11 situations, which leave us longing for a little peace and quiet.

1. Being the Center of Attention

Introverts appreciate recognition, who doesn’t? But too much praise can make us uncomfortable. When we’re saluted at a birthday party, or lauded for our volunteer work, or introduced as the “Employee of the Month” we’re grateful for the gesture, but we’d prefer to keep it low-key and let the moment pass quickly (please don't ask us to make a speech). Introverts tend to feel embarrassed by this type of attention, and would prefer to let their actions speak for themselves. Public attention just isn’t our favorite place to be.

2. Two Social Events in a Row

Most Introverts can go to parties, family dinners, etc., and have a great time. But back-to-back gatherings, especially around the holidays or during big family reunions, can be a lot to handle. Introverts need their downtime, and this much socializing can stretch us to the breaking point.

3. Group Brainstorming Sessions 

Given the right environment, introverts can be thoughtful, reliable team players who help people and projects succeed—but group brainstorming sessions are not the right environment. In fact, the rapid verbal pace can be intimidating for introverts. Open, unstructured formats usually favor the loudest, quickest voices and most prolific voices (the voices of the extraverts, in other words). And there’s no time to think before you speak, making it hard for quieter team members to contribute their best ideas.

4. Being Asked to Make An Impromptu Speech

Extraverts often take this in stride, seeing it as a normal part of climbing the career ladder. Introverts, while just as ambitious, perform better when they have time to gather their thoughts and plan what they want to say. Being put on the spot can bring a wave of anxiety and self-doubt, to the point where we might lose our train of thought or forget something important. We’ll manage, of course, but it rarely feels comfortable.

5. Chatting in the Checkout Line

Standing in line at the store, bank or DMV, most introverts are content to stay in their own thoughts and let the world pass by. When a stranger tries to make conversation out of nowhere, switching into social mode can feel abrupt and uncomfortable. Small talk isn’t our favorite to begin with—we’d much rather have a meaningful exchange than chat about the weather. But there’s something about being pulled into a surface-level conversation with a stranger that feels so forced, we won’t enjoy a single minute of it.

6. Running into a Neighbor

For introverts, an unexpected chat with a neighbor can be even trickier than talking to strangers. There aren’t any clear guidelines on how much to say or how long to keep the conversation going, and nobody wants to seem rude. So, even if we’re caught off guard and not sure what to talk about, we’ll usually stick around for a few minutes—which will feel like the longest few minutes of the introvert’s life when all they really wanted was to go about their business.

7. Answering a Knock on the Door

Introverts aren’t too fond of surprises, especially if it means having to chat on the spot. We’d much rather know when to expect company so we can get ready. An unexpected knock at the door can throw us for a loop, pulling us out of our quiet time and into a conversation we weren’t planning to have. It’s not that we don’t like people—we just prefer to be prepared.

8. Speaking Up About a Problem

From time to time, everyone will have to return a damaged item to a store, or send back an overcooked steak, or call their utility company to complain about being overcharged. Introverts find these conversations really unpleasant, because it means calling attention to themselves in a negative way. They hate the idea of being seen as difficult or demanding, and they don’t want people’s eyes on them because they’re causing a scene. Sometimes, it feels easier to just let it go, even if it means putting up with a major inconvenience.

9. Showing Up Solo

Parties can be emotionally exhausting for introverts even in the best of circumstances. But when they have to go alone, without an extraverted friend to help break the ice, it can lead to a string of awkward encounters. If conversations don't click or small talk falls flat, many of us will quietly retreat to the sidelines, keeping busy with a drink or a plate of food just to have something to do.

10. Working in An Open Office Layout

Whoever came up with this idea for organizing a workspace wasn’t thinking of introverts when they did it! Introverts appreciate the walls and cubicles that add structure and at least a degree of privacy. With no separation from the noise and movement, it’s hard to find the quiet and focus we need to do our best work. When it’s all chaos, concentration just slips away.

11. Too Much Noise, Too Many People

It’s no secret that introverts struggle with nonstop noise and constant commotion, and there’s real science behind it. Research shows that introvert brains are much more sensitive to stimulation from busy environments, so everything feels more intense. Introverts simply aren’t built to spend a lot of time in packed stores, noisy cafeterias, rush hour subways, loud waiting rooms or overcrowded sidewalks. Too much sensory input can make it almost impossible to even think straight. In these scenarios, going home to hibernate might be the best choice you’ve ever made.