3 Strategies for Making Emotionally Intelligent Work Decisions

Every day at work, we’re faced with decisions—some big, some small. From choosing how to respond to a tricky email to deciding who should lead a project, our choices shape not only our own success but also the culture and outcomes of our teams. Traditionally, we are taught to focus on logic, data and efficiency when making these decisions. Spreadsheets, deadlines and bottom lines often take center stage, while the human side of decision-making is pushed to the background.

However, when you drill into the five components of emotional intelligence, it becomes obvious how each skill supports better, and better supported, decisions:

• Self-awareness: High self-awareness can help you identify the motivations, judgments, biases, values and past experiences that can influence your decision-making.
• Other awareness: Being aware of how others think and feel can help you anticipate possible reactions to your decisions.
• Emotional control: The skill of self-regulation is critical when making difficult or unpopular decisions. It allows you to stay calm and composed when faced with tough choices, and consider options from a place of reason.
• Empathy: Understanding others' perspectives can lead to more well-rounded decisions that consider the impact on those involved.
• Well-being: Maintaining positive relationships with others in the workplace can open up channels of communication. These viewpoints provide valuable input when making important decisions, and help you deal with the consequences of your decisions.

So, how can you put these components of emotional intelligence into practice when faced with tough choices at work? Here are three practical strategies to help you make decisions that are not only smart, but emotionally intelligent.

1. Imagine It's a Friend's Decision

One of the most effective ways to reduce emotional bias in your own decision-making is to create some psychological distance from the problem. When you imagine that it's a friend, not you, making the decision, you’re more likely to approach it with a clear head and rational perspective. 

It's well known in psychology circles that people reason more rationally about other people’s problems than they do their own. This is called Solomon's Paradox, a psychological phenomenon where people are much better at giving wise, rational advice to others than they are at solving their own problems. Named after the biblical King Solomon—famed for his wisdom in judging others’ disputes but less successful in his personal life—the paradox highlights a common human bias: when we’re emotionally involved in our own dilemmas, our judgment becomes clouded by personal feelings, biases and attachments. It's why people are bad at taking their own advice.

Imagining you are making the decision for a friend helps you sidestep these judgment-clouding emotional entanglements. By stepping into the role of an advisor, you naturally weigh options more objectively and avoid knee-jerk reactions. The next time you’re stuck, pause and ask yourself, “What would I advise a friend to do in this situation?” You may be surprised by how much clearer the best path becomes.

2. Give Yourself at Least Three Options

Especially if a decision has to be made quickly, we have a tendency to box ourselves into one particular worldview (our own) and miss the full range of options that we have. We do the same thing when considering the emotional impact of our decisions—we imagine how the decision will affect us and assume that others will have the same reaction. That's dangerous if you are, for example, highly emotionally controlled and high in well-being, as your resilience to poor decisions may be significantly higher than it is for others.

To counteract this, challenge yourself to come up with at least three different options, considering the perspectives of key stakeholders who will be affected by your decision. This approach taps into your empathy and other-awareness skills, prompting you to imagine how different people might view the situation or what solutions might work best for them. The process of thinking about the decision from another person's perspective can reveal options that would otherwise be overlooked, and the quality of decisions often increases when we have more options.

3. Examine the Lens You Are Looking Through

The mood you are in when you make a decision will always influence the decision you make. Anger makes people bold and impulsive. Fear tends to lock us into tunnel vision—we shut down optimistic and risky decisions. Extreme happiness can make us more gullible. None of these moods is bad, but it's important to understand that they do influence decision making.

The antidote is to check in with yourself before making a significant choice. Ask yourself: “What am I feeling right now, and how might that be influencing my thinking?” If you notice that your emotions are particularly strong, take a step back. That could mean going for a walk, sleeping on it or seeking input from a trusted colleague. Taking a break is good emotional-regulation hygiene—it helps ensure that your decisions are guided by clarity and intention, rather than by fleeting moods or stress.

Final Words

Emotionally intelligent decision making is not about ignoring data or objectivity; they will always be important. It is about integrating the human side of work into decisions as well, leading to choices that are both smart and sustainable for everyone. Ultimately, the decisions you make at work only move projects forward if everyone buys into them. This framework can help you make decisions that people feel part of, not just subject to. When you use it, you’re more likely to get real commitment instead of silent resistance.