The Emotional Habit to Master This Year, According to Your Myers-Briggs Type

As the new year approaches, it’s the perfect time to reflect not just on goals and resolutions, but on emotional growth, too. We all have emotional blind spots that, once softened, make our goals easier to reach and our relationships more satisfying. Here’s what that means for your Myers-Briggs personality type.

ISTJ: Let Go of Rigid Expectations

ISTJs prefer structure and predictability and often resist change. This works fine when everything runs smoothly, but it can backfire when life veers off course. Trust me when I say that a project falling off schedule is not the end of the world, and you don’t have to withdraw from a romantic partner who drops the ball once in a while. 

In the coming year, your emotional task is to let go of rigid expectations and embrace flexibility. The more you resist change, the more drained, isolated and disappointed you are likely to feel when things don’t go as planned. Practically, it could mean shifting your approach when circumstances change instead of sticking tightly to your original plan, and giving yourself permission to add some wiggle room to your routines.

ISFJ: Set Emotional Boundaries

ISFJs often put themselves second, behind the wishes and demands of their friends, family and coworkers. While it makes them genuinely happy to help and support others, it can also leave them feeling resentful or unappreciated over time. They might absorb other people’s stress and say “yes” to requests they don’t really have the energy for, just to keep others happy. 

Your focus in the coming year is setting boundaries around your time and energy. This means recognizing when someone else’s problem isn’t yours to fix and learning to say “no” without overexplaining or feeling guilty. You can support others better from a place of strength rather than exhaustion.

INFJ: Allow Others to Hold Space for You

INFJs can get affected by others’ emotions as if they were their own. Because they have high empathy, they often focus on other people’s feelings first and push their own to the side. It’s like they can sense how someone might feel if they open up to them, so they hold back to protect the other person. Over time, this can leave INFJs feeling unseen and emotionally alone.

As the new year rolls in, your emotional work is to start letting people in without filtering everything to protect them. This might look like voicing what’s weighing on you before it becomes too heavy and letting others comfort you even if a part of you feels guilty for needing that support. These little moments of openness can help you build relationships in which you feel like you have a safe haven too—not just being one for everyone else.

INTJ: Make Room for Human Flaws

INTJs often hold others to impossibly high standards, which inevitably leads to frustration when people don’t meet their expectations. They may become critical or withdrawn, because they genuinely believe things could be done better and struggle to hide their disappointment. This can alienate others and make them feel like they’re never good enough for the INTJ. For example, a partner might hesitate to share their struggles for fear of judgment, or a friend might stop asking for advice because it always comes with critique.

With the new year around the corner, your growth challenge as an INTJ is to make room for people’s weaknesses. Not everyone approaches life with the same focus and commitment to self-improvement as you do, and that’s okay. Try listening without immediately criticizing, letting small mistakes slide, and generally allowing other humans to be… well, human. 

ISTP: Acknowledge Emotions Instead of Ignoring Them

ISTPs tend to rationalize and push uncomfortable emotions aside until they dissipate. When they feel sad, frustrated or heartbroken, they might throw themselves into work, hobbies or physical activities instead of letting those feelings move through. This can make emotions linger longer than they need to, and can quietly build grudges and resentment in relationships where openness and connection would actually help.

This year, your emotional focus is to welcome your feelings, even uncomfortable ones. Speak up when you feel hurt or sidelined. Cry when you feel sad. Break something (safely!) in anger. It’s all better than bottling up negative emotions and letting them fester.

ISFP: Connect With Your Future Self

ISFPs live intensely in the moment and find it hard to have a long-term vision for their life. That kind of present-focus is a strength that other personality types lack, but it can work against them when important choices ask them to picture their future life and who they want to become.

This year, your emotional work is to stretch your inner horizons. Set aside small pockets of time to think about your goals for the future and imagine the kind of life you want to be living and the person you hope to become. Journaling can help you articulate those visions, while visualization can help you connect with them emotionally. You could also create a vision board that makes your future feel real and emotionally textured.

INFP: Ground Emotions in Reality

INFPs can easily get lost in their imagination, spiraling the facts into fantasies or worst-case scenarios. These types are very impressionable and tend to read too much into small cues, like a brief text or a facial expression. A date’s curt reply can feel like proof of disinterest, for example, or a casual compliment can become the start of an entire romantic story in their mind.

As the new year rolls in, the emotional habit you should build is checking the stories you’re creating against what’s actually happening. Before spiraling up or down, pause and ask yourself: What do I know, and what am I assuming? Then put things into context to arrive at a more balanced conclusion (e.g. His reply was kinda cold but he’s stressed by his work hours, and there’s no real evidence that he’s pulling away).

INTP: Trust Your Gut and Take Emotional Risks

INTPs analyze everything, which often leads them to second-guess the emotional dynamics of a situation. They may sense that their crush reciprocates their feelings but keep questioning their read and decide not to say anything. Or they might replay a conflict over and over, searching for the perfectly logical response instead of simply saying how they feel.

The emotional habit you should cultivate is trusting your gut instead of running every signal through 10 layers of analysis. In practice, this might look like texting back when you want to instead of drafting three versions, or saying “I like you” when the moment feels right. Over time, this helps you build trust in your own emotional instincts and loosens the grip of analysis paralysis.

ESTP: Be Willing to Share Your Feelings

While ESTPs are gregarious and outgoing, they often struggle to connect on a deeper emotional level. Even close friends or partners may feel that the ESTP is unwilling to acknowledge other people’s feelings, or share their own, because they have a tendency to jump straight to problem-solving or lighten the mood with humor rather than say what is really going on for them.

The new year is an opportunity for you to practice emotional availability. In practice, this can be as simple as asking “How are you feeling?” and actually listening before responding, or being honest with how you feel instead of trying to joke the heavy mood away. Over time, this emotional give-and-take can help you build stronger relationships and feel more satisfied in your connections.

ESFP: Sit With Discomfort Instead of Escaping Into Fun

ESFPs have a tendency to seek out pleasure to escape difficult emotions rather than confront them head-on. While distracting themselves with socializing and fun activities can provide temporary relief, it can also mean neglecting responsibilities or slipping into self-sabotaging behaviors like overspending or reaching for quick comforts.

Your new habit is sitting with discomfort rather than rushing to numb it with external excitement. This does not mean wallowing in negativity, but allowing yourself to feel what you feel while you keep going with life and process your emotions in healthy ways, like journaling or talking things through with a friend.

ENFP: Temper Your Optimism

ENFPs have a natural positivity that can sometimes make them gloss over challenges. For example, they might interpret a loved one’s moodiness as temporary and say, “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine!” instead of asking what’s really going on. 

While your optimism is a gift, it can leave others feeling unheard, so your emotional work is to tune in more to other people’s feelings. In practice, this might look like checking in on someone even when everything seems “fine” and staying with their feelings when they open up, instead of rushing to lighten the mood.

ENTP: Listen Empathetically

ENTPs often jump into arguments just for the sake of it, even in situations where debate isn’t really appropriate. If someone opens up about a heartbreak, it’s tone-deaf to question the logic of their feelings (“Are you sure that’s why you’re upset?”) or approach the issue from a philosophical standpoint (e.g. (“Isn’t love just a social construct anyway?”) when what they really want from you is comfort.

This year, the emotional habit you should practice is empathetic listening. Instead of jumping in with a clever, witty or provocative response, tune into the emotional tone of the conversation. It’s as simple as asking yourself: Is this a moment for debates, or a moment for connection?

ESTJ: Soften Your Delivery

ESTJs like structure, predictability and control, but life and people aren’t always linear. These types can respond impulsively when rules are broken or things don’t go as they expected, whether it’s shouting at the kids when they don’t follow instructions or snapping at a subordinate for missing a deadline. These reactions come from a place of frustration rather than malice, but they can still lead to hurt feelings. 

For you, ESTJ, the emotional work is to pause before reacting and take a little extra care with your words. Try to soften your delivery and check in with others, especially when offering feedback or criticism. Giving yourself a moment to consider how your response might land emotionally can make a big difference in your relationships.

ESFJ: Balance Caregiving With Respect for People’s Boundaries

ESFJs often take on the problems of others as if they were their own, and will put a lot of effort into bringing order to people's lives. Giving someone advice about a personal issue or stepping in to mediate a quarrel is second nature to them, and their intentions are usually good. But uninvited actions like these, when made in the spirit of “it’s for your own good,” can come across as intrusive and overbearing.

This year, practice paying attention to when you might be overstepping. Pause and ask people if they want your advice, or just a shoulder to cry on. Offering your help as a choice gives others the space to handle things their own way while still showing that you care. 

ENFJ: Release Responsibility for Everyone’s Feelings

ENFJs are deeply attuned to the emotions of those around them and often take on an emotional caretaking role. For example, they might feel obligated to “babysit” a friend who is going through a breakup, spending hours offering emotional support or trying to distract them from their pain. While it’s great to be there for others in difficult times, it must not come at the cost of your own well-being. 

That’s why the emotional habit you should master is healthy emotional detachment. Learn to recognize when stepping back is actually the kindest thing you can do, for both yourself and the other person. That way, you create space for them to manage their feelings while protecting yourself from emotional burnout.

ENTJ: Be More Emotionally Present

Strategic, ambitious ENTJs tend to put goal achievement ahead of people’s emotional needs. They might delegate a huge task to a coworker who’s already overwhelmed because they’re so focused on the end goal that they miss the emotional signals others are sending. Or they might brush off a partner’s bad day with advice about how to fix the problem, instead of offering simple reassurance. It’s not that they're cold-hearted or ruthless—it’s just that efficiency and outcomes tend to register more readily for them than feelings.

Make this the year to sharpen your emotional edge. This could look like checking in with loved ones before things reach a breaking point and generally making room for someone’s emotional state in your daily interactions, especially when planning and problem-solving. If you want a data point to help you get started, take Truity’s Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Test and focus on improving in the areas where your scores are low.