To Get Ahead at Work, Should You Start Emailing “Like a Man”?

"Hi Josh, Hope you are doing well! I'm just checking in to see how you're getting on with the sales analysis. Have you had a chance to look into it further? Just wondering if you need any additional information from my end, thanks!"

It reads like an ordinary email, right? One of the dozens, maybe hundreds, that you receive and send every day. But on closer analysis, that polite, tentative and nurturing tone can reveal something much deeper. This email is written “like a woman” — and it could be standing between you and that promotion at work.

What Does It Mean to Email “Like a Man”?

Emailing “like a man” means ditching the pleasantries, skipping unnecessary apologies, and getting straight to the point. The “like a man” part is cute-but-false labeling. What it's actually describing is the Intuitive-Thinking (NT) style of communication.

In the Myers and Briggs personality system, NTs, and especially those with the Judging dimension (INTJs and ENTJs), are known for their direct, logical and no-nonsense approach to communication. They see small talk and emotional language as inefficient and prefer to get straight to the facts. If an ENTJ wrote that same email, it might look more like this:

"Josh, Have you finished the sales analysis? Is there anything else you need from me?"

No pleasantries or apologies. Just a direct and straightforward request for information. It's called “emailing like a man” because more men than women have NT personality types.

This style of communication is often seen as confident and assertive in the workplace, which can lead to promotions and career advancement. But while emailing like a man has its benefits, there’s nuance to it. If you don’t calibrate your communications to the situation and the person you’re addressing, it could backfire big time, as the following examples show.

Three Career-Boosting Benefits of Emailing like a Man

1. It gives you an air of authority and competence.

Perceptions are everything in the workplace. When you email in a direct and assertive way, it signals  to your colleagues and superiors that you are confident and competent. You know what you're talking about, and you don't waste time with unnecessary details. People take this style of communication seriously. They are more likely to prioritize your requests and give weight to your ideas. 

Example:

Instead of this: “I hope you're doing well! I just wanted to mention that I wasn’t included in the acknowledgments slide for this project in your presentation. No worries at all as I completely understand it was just an oversight! I just wanted to bring it up and kindly ask to be included next time.” 

Say this: "I'm flagging that I wasn’t included in the acknowledgments slide of your presentation today, even though my contribution was significant. I’m sure it was an oversight, but I’d appreciate being included next time."

2. It shows you are someone who gets things done.

Emailing the NT way reduces the chances of misinterpretation. You won't need to go back-and-forth because everyone understood exactly what was needed the first time. Things can move forward much faster as a result. Time is a precious commodity in the workplace. Efficiency in all its forms can lead to increased productivity and better work outcomes, making the individual stand out as someone who gets things done.

Example:

Instead of this: “I was wondering if you could review the attached document when you get a chance?” 

Say this: “Please review the attached document and provide feedback by Friday.” 

3. It can strengthen your relationship with your boss.

According to Leader-Member-Exchange Theory, leaders develop different types of relationships with each of their subordinates, ranging from low-quality to high-quality exchanges. Having a high-quality relationship with your boss puts you in the “in-group”, meaning you have closer communication and more access to your boss’s time. Adopting an NT communication style can help build this relationship by demonstrating competence, efficiency and reducing the need for hand-holding.

Aside from being on good terms with your boss, when you’re perceived as more self-assured in your emails, it could signal leadership potential to them, opening doors for promotions. Research repeatedly shows that ENTJs earn more money than the rest of us and manage more people — proof that emailing like a man can be career-enhancing.

Example:

Instead of this: "Good morning, I'm sorry to bother you. I’m just checking in to see if there is any news on the proposal that we've been discussing."

Say this: "Hi Boss, Any updates on the proposal?"

Can Emailing Like a Man Backfire?

Just like any communication style, emailing like a man has its drawbacks. Sending terse, blunt emails can come across as rude or dismissive to some people. It might even damage relationships with colleagues or clients who value a more empathetic or respectful approach. Writing “Please review the attached document and provide feedback by Friday” to your manager fails to recognize their authority, and it could give them a  “Who does this person think they are talking to me like this?!” feeling.

If your emails start sounding like orders (“I need you to prioritize this”) rather than requests (“I’d appreciate it if you prioritize this”), your colleagues might think of you as full of yourself and exclude you from social events or projects. Over time, this exclusion can affect your career advancement and overall job satisfaction.

Additionally, women are expected to communicate differently than men in the workplace and may face backlash for adopting a more direct and assertive tone in their emails.  One study in the healthcare context found that women are more likely to be seen as rude, while men who exhibit the exact same communication style are seen as just direct. Email compounds those stereotypes because it lacks the softening cues that are present in face-to-face interactions, such as tone of voice, body language and facial expressions.

As with all things, emailing like a man is a balancing act. The following strategies can help you make the most of this style without overdoing it.

How to Email Like a Man Effectively

• Know who you’re dealing with: Before you start emailing someone like a man, observe how the recipient communicates. Do they use emotive language? Speak indirectly? Tell stories? If so, the "pure" NT approach may not be the best fit for them. Water it down with some warmth and empathy.
• Don’t go overboard with assertiveness: Strike a balance where you sound clear and confident without coming across as bossy and condescending. Avoid using phrases that sound too authoritative (“I need you to…”) as well as phrases that sound hesitant or apologetic (“I was wondering if you could…”). “I would appreciate” is an excellent neutral phrase that can work well in most situations.
• Tread carefully with the higher ups: When you’re emailing someone who has power over you, it might be wise to dial back on the NT style. You're not trying to lock horns with your boss or sound like you're talking to a peer. If they email NT style, you have a little more freedom to match their style, but it’s best to err on the side of caution. You don't want to be known as the colleague who is trying to mimic their boss!
• Choose your battles: While it’s important to assert yourself at work, not every email needs to sound like a CEO wrote it. Save the NT style for when you need to make an impact — less is more when “like a man” is not your  default communication style.