How to Deal With Empathy Burnout as an INFJ

INFJs are the rarest of the Myers-Briggs personality types and experience challenges that other types cannot imagine. These compassionate souls feel deeply for others. They frequently put themselves in the shoes of those around them and empathize to the point of exhaustion, where they can no longer differentiate their emotions from those of others.

While empathy is balm in this dog-eat-dog world, with great empathy comes great responsibility—and if INFJs are not careful, they can experience empathy burnout.

What is Empathy Burnout?

Empathy burnout is a state of emotional, psychological and physical exhaustion resulting from an overwhelming amount of empathy towards others. It can occur when an INFJ gives too much of themselves to help others without taking time to recharge and care for themselves.

At first, you may feel drained and depleted, with little energy left for your own self-care or personal needs. But as time goes on, empathy burnout can take a darker turn. You may feel resentful of others for constantly relying on your empathy and close yourself off to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

Why INFJs Experience Empathy Burnout 

INFJs are considered highly empathetic due to their dominant cognitive function being Introverted Intuition (Ni), and their auxiliary function being Extraverted Feeling (Fe).

Their Ni allows them to "read between the lines" and pick up on subtle cues, often sensing how someone is feeling before they explicitly express it. They find it hard to turn this off, so these cues are coming at the INFJ all of the time.

Their Fe function enables them to understand and share the emotions of others, both of individuals and of larger groups. Fe is concerned with belonging to something larger than oneself. It's what makes the INFJ more likely to absorb the mood of those around them and care about other people’s well-being.

This combination of Ni and Fe can create a perfect storm for empathy burnout.

Signs and Symptoms of Empathy Burnout 

How do you know if you're experiencing empathy burnout? Here are some common signs to watch for:

• Chronic fatigue or feeling emotionally drained after social interactions. 
• Irritability or an uncharacteristic lack of patience with others. 
• Apathy or a numbness to situations that would normally move you. 
• Physical symptoms, like headaches or trouble sleeping. 
• Withdrawal from social situations due to feeling overwhelmed. 
• Feeling like you've "lost yourself" or your sense of purpose. 

Recognizing these symptoms is the first step toward addressing empathy burnout. If this feels familiar, know that you're not alone—and relief is possible with the right steps. 

Action Steps for Managing Empathy Burnout 

While empathy burnout can feel all-consuming, there are effective strategies to help you regain balance and protect your emotional well-being. Below, we'll walk you through six powerful steps to manage and overcome empathy burnout as an INFJ. 

1. Set Boundaries (and Stick to Them) 

INFJs are natural people pleasers. You want to help and support others, often to your detriment. However, setting boundaries is vital for your mental and emotional health. Boundaries can look like saying "no" to additional responsibilities or limiting the time you spend with people who drain your energy. Practice assertive communication when setting boundaries. For example, "I’d love to help, but I need some time to recharge right now." 

2. Learn to Separate your Feelings from Others 

An INFJ's biggest challenge during empathy burnout is disentangling their emotions from those around them. A helpful strategy is to actively check in with yourself throughout the day and ask, "Is this emotion mine?" If not, give yourself permission to release it. Visualization can help here. Imagine yourself surrounded by an invisible bubble that lets love and connection flow in—but keeps harmful negativity out. 

3. Create Time for Solitude 

A key part of an INFJ’s personality is their introverted nature. You recharge best when spending time alone. Whether it's an hour of journaling or an afternoon hike, make intentional time for solitude. Example Idea: create a "quiet hour" in your daily routine where you disconnect from others, turn off your phone, and focus on nurturing your own energy. 

4. Engage in Activities That Ground You 

When emotions run high, grounding techniques can help bring you back to the present moment. Grounding can include mindfulness practices, deep-breathing exercises, or simply spending time in nature. Physical activities like yoga or walks can also stabilize your emotions and provide perspective. For an easy tip, keep a grounding playlist filled with music that calms and centers you; play it whenever you're feeling overwhelmed. 

5. Talk to Someone Who Understands 

Sometimes, the best remedy for empathy burnout is connecting with someone who truly "gets you." This could be a therapist, a trusted confidant or a fellow INFJ friend. Sharing your experience and receiving validation for your feelings can be incredibly healing. You might also consider joining online communities for INFJs and empaths where you can exchange advice and encouragement with like-minded individuals. 

6. Practice Self-Compassion 

INFJs often hold themselves to impossibly high standards, especially in helping others. When empathy burnout strikes, it's easy to spiral into feelings of guilt or inadequacy. Combat this by giving yourself the same grace and kindness you so easily extend to others. For example, you might write yourself a note as if you were comforting a dear friend experiencing burnout. Read it back to yourself whenever doubt creeps in. 

7. Focus on Prioritization Rather Than Perfection 

It’s okay not to carry the weight of the world. While helping others is admirable, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Instead of doing everything for everyone, focus on high-priority tasks and relationships that bring you joy and fulfillment. Use a simple mantra to keep yourself grounded, such as "Not everything is mine to carry." 

8. Cultivate Restorative Hobbies 

Create space for activities that bring you joy and help restore your emotional balance. Whether it’s painting, gardening or baking, doing what you love can help you decompress. Some INFJs find mindfulness-focused hobbies like coloring books or building puzzles helpful for keeping their mind grounded and present. 

Finding Balance as an INFJ 

Empathy burnout can feel draining, but you deserve care and love as much as anyone else. Start treating yourself with the compassion you so frequently give to others. When you're ready to take the next step, consider exploring mindfulness practices or joining a supportive community of INFJs and empaths. Make protecting your emotional well-being a priority—it starts with one small step today.