How to Deal With a Job Rejection Right Before the Holidays

Rejections are always hard. But when they happen right before the holidays, they can feel even more devastating. You know your family is going to be asking, "Did you find a new job yet?" repeatedly, as if to remind you of your failure. And how are you supposed to be grateful and jolly at the dinner table when you're feeling disappointed and rejected?

But don't worry, there are ways to deal with a job rejection right before the holidays. Here are some tips to help you navigate through this tough situation, whatever your personality type.

1. Allow Yourself to Feel your Emotions

It's okay to feel disappointed, sad or even angry after receiving a job rejection. Don't try to suppress your emotions or pretend like everything is fine. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. This can be quite cathartic and help you process the rejection in a healthy way.

2. Don't Take it Personally

Remember that a job rejection does not define your worth as a person or as a professional. There could be a variety of reasons why you were not selected for the job, and most often it has nothing to do with your skills or qualifications. Maybe the company was looking for a different type of candidate or they had budget constraints. Try not to take it personally and instead focus on what you can learn from the experience.

3. Reach Out to Your Support System

This one is a balancing act.  Some people have strong support systems—people who are great at offering encouraging words and helping them move on. If that's you, then Thanksgiving is going to be a great opportunity to tap into that support. Others are battling with friends and family who are so uncomfortable with negative emotions that they push you to 'get over it'. In this case, it may be better to paste on a happy face and get through the holiday with as little fuss as possible, then reach out to a close friend or counselor afterwards. Choose the approach that works best for you.

4. Practice Gratitude

Even though it may feel difficult, try to reflect on the things you are grateful for in your life. This can help shift your focus away from the job rejection and towards the positive aspects of your life. If your family is critical or unsupportive, try writing down a list of things you are thankful for ahead of time in a way that will be stop any negative questions in their tracks. For example, you could say, "I'm thankful for the lessons I've learned through this job search process."

5. Focus On Your Feedback

The key thing to do after a rejection is to ask for, and listen to, feedback. Self-analysis won't always give you the full picture, as you may not be aware of what the company was looking for or why you didn't fit their expectations. So start by gathering all the feedback you can from the employer, and if it feels like a brush-off, ask if they can give you any more specific feedback to help guide your job search. Now for the hard part—share your feedback with friends and family members, and ask them to help you analyze it. The more objective eyes there are on the feedback, the better.

6. Ask, Why Another Candidate?

Another way of gathering feedback is to ask the recruiter why the winning candidate was chosen. What did they demonstrate  that you didn't? How did they present their skills? What unique qualities or experiences did they have that set them apart? In what way were they deemed a better match for the company culture? All of this information can be extremely valuable in understanding what you may need to work on for future job opportunities—though remember that the successful candidate was not necessarily better than you. Their communications style or experience may have just been a better match for the specific role and company.

7. Decide if You Need to Take a Break

While it depends on the company and the industry, lots of companies won't be hiring right now. Teams have projects and goals they need to wind up before the end of the year and hiring may not fit into their plans. So, unless you're looking for a seasonal role or it's clear that the company is actively searching, you'll need to decide whether to keep applying or take a break. If you've had several rejections in a row and your confidence is taking a hit, it may be beneficial to take some time off and regroup before diving back into job hunting. You may find that you—and they—have more energy and engagement for the job search in January. End-of-year burn out is real so don't push yourself to breaking point.

8. Keep Moving Forward

Whether this happens now or in January, make a plan to keep moving forward and know what your next steps will be. This could mean refreshing your skills, networking with professionals in your industry, or taking on a freelance project while you're job hunting. It could mean taking a career aptitude test to investigate whether there are other careers where your skills and interests might be a better fit. Whatever it is, have a plan in place. Then you can enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner, knowing exactly where you're headed in your career. Keep moving forward and don't let one job rejection define you or your holiday season.