How to Decode Your Date’s Personality Type in Just One Conversation

If you're into personality typology, you're probably one of those people who types almost everyone they meet—especially your dates! Are they an Extravert or Introvert? A Sensor or an Intuitive? Are you two a good match? And most importantly, should you see them again or is it better to let it be? 

But let’s be real—hitting someone with a barrage of cringy, personal questions like “What makes you nervous?” or “How do you handle stress?” can quickly turn your date into an awkward interrogation instead of a fun night out.

So, how can you get a feel of your date’s personality without making it feel like an interview? The good news is that you can size up someone’s type just through observation and natural conversation. From the spot they picked for the date to the topics they get excited about, those little cues can reveal a lot about their personality. So, here’s how to decode your date’s Myers and Briggs personality type in a single conversation—while keeping the vibe fun and lighthearted!

Spotting Introverts and Extraverts

A good starting point when it comes to sizing up your date’s personality type is to observe how they approach social interactions. This can give you a clue whether they’re more of an Extravert or an Introvert. For example, if they picked a lively, bustling venue for the date—like a busy bar or a trendy restaurant—they probably lean towards being an Extravert. But if they suggested something more low-key—like a quiet cafe or a peaceful park—they’re probably more on the introverted side. 

It’s definitely not a foolproof indicator, but it can give you an initial clue about what environments they feel most comfortable in.

You can also get a sense of whether someone’s an Extravert or Introvert by the kind of topics they like to talk about and how they manage conversational flow. Extraverts aren’t shy about sharing personal anecdotes and often jump from topic to topic. Introverts tend to prefer deeper, more thoughtful discussions, focusing on a single subject at a time and exploring it more thoroughly. 

A good question to ask is: “What’s your ideal way to spend a weekend?” An Extravert might describe going out with friends or trying new activities, whereas an Introvert might mention enjoying a quiet day at home with a good book or spending time with a close-knit circle of people.

Telling Apart Sensors from Intuitives

Next, consider how your date talks about their interests and tells stories. People who are Sensing-dominant tend to be more detail-oriented when describing their experiences or things they like to do. They’ll talk about concrete facts, names and specific events. For example,  when talking about a trip, they might tell you what the weather was like, what they ate and all the cool places they visited. 

Intuition-dominant types, on the other hand, tend to speak in broader strokes. They’ll likely describe patterns or themes of the experience rather than the nitty-gritty details—like, how it made them feel, the lessons they learned or how the trip fit into the bigger picture of their life.

Another way to gauge the Sensing vs. Intuition preference is to pay attention to the little comments they make during lulls in conversation. Sensing types are usually very tuned into what’s happening around them, so they might point out something about their immediate environment like the interior design, the music playing in the background, or even how the food tastes. If they're an Intuitive, they'll likely say something that reflects their focus on ideas, patterns or possibilities, rather than just the here and now. For example, they could say something like, “This place makes me think of a documentary I just watched about architecture.,” or “I wonder what life’s going to look like five years from now.” 

If you want to dig a little deeper into this, you could ask what kind of books they like to read. If they’re into practical, real-world stuff like biographies or self-help books, they’re probably more of a Sensing type. But if they are into fantasy, sci-fi, or deep philosophical reads, that’s a sign they lean towards Intuition. If they’re not much of a reader, try asking about their go-to movie genre.  

Differentiating Thinking and Feeling Types

To figure out whether someone is a Thinker or a Feeler, you can try throwing a hypothetical question like “If you won the lottery, what would you do with all the cash?” A Thinking-dominant type might talk about how they would invest the money or use it for practical stuff like buying a house or paying off debts. A Feeler is likely to focus on how they’d share it, whether that’s by donating to a charitable cause they care about or using it to make someone's life better.

Beyond direct questions, you can also pick up on this by how they talk. Thinkers tend to talk in a straightforward, matter-of-fact fashion. They often back up their opinions with facts or examples and tend to approach conversations in a structured way. For example, they might say, “Okay, let’s break this down: first, we’ll talk about this point, and then we’ll move on to that one.” As for Feelers, they tend to speak with more emotion and warmth, using a lot of affectionate and “feeling words,” such as “I feel like…”, “I love how...”, “darling,” “my dear”, and so on.

Spotting Judging vs. Perceiving Types

Lastly, you can gauge whether they’re a Judging or Perceiving type by getting a feel for how they plan and stay organized. For example, if, when arranging your next date, they whip out their calendar and suggest specific times, places and even backup options, you’re likely dealing with a Judger. You might hear them say something like, “How about we meet at 7 PM at that new sushi place, and if it’s too crowded, we can go to the Italian restaurant down the street?” 

As for Perceiving folks, they are way more spontaneous and easy-going. When planning your next outing, they might casually toss out ideas like, “Let’s just meet up and then find a place that feels right” or say “I’m down for anything. Where do you want to go?” 

You can also determine whether they’re more Judging or Perceiving by asking them about their plans for the future. The classic “Where do you see yourself in five years?” should do the trick. If they’re a Judger, they’ll likely give a definite, mapped-out answer like, “In five years, I want to be in a management position, own a house and be settled down.” A Perceiver, on the other hand, is likely to keep things more open-ended and flexible. They could say something like “I’m not really sure, it depends on what opportunities come up” or even “I don’t really plan so far ahead. I prefer to go with the flow.” 

Final Words

While these cues can give you a glimpse into someone’s personality, try not to read too much into them. People are more complicated and their behavior on a first date might not always reflect their true type. There are plenty of reasons someone might act a certain way that has nothing to do with their personality. For example, an Introvert might pick a busy restaurant because they know someone who works there (convenient!), while an Extravert might choose a quieter spot just because they love the food! Or, a Perceiving type might be very particular when it comes to planning because of their busy schedule at work. You get the idea. And oh, you’ve got to factor in those nerves and excitement, too—it’s a first date, after all!

So, keep an eye on these cues, ask questions (but not too many!), but don’t get hung up on trying to type someone on a first date. Instead, let things unfold naturally and give them space to reveal who they are over time. After all, that’s where all the fun is when it comes to dating—peeling back the layers and getting to know them over time.