Introverts and Extraverts Struggle Differently with Asking for Help at Work – Here’s How to Help Them

During your weekly team meeting, you notice that Samuel, your introverted data analyst, hasn’t said a word even though he seems stressed. Meanwhile, Jamie, your extraverted marketer, is taking on yet another project. They’re talking a mile a minute about new campaign ideas, but it’s clear they’re already stretched too thin.

Although they both could do with some support, neither might feel confident to reach out. 
As a leader, knowing whether your team members are introverted or extraverted can provide valuable insights into how they communicate, collaborate, and why they might avoid asking for help. This awareness allows you to check in with them in a way that matches their personalities.

By identifying struggles early on, you can offer support and prevent stressful consequences, such as missed deadlines. 

A helpful tool is the Big Five personality assessment. The most widely accepted model in personality psychology, the Big Five measures five core traits which all of us possess to some degree: Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, Openness, Neuroticism and Extraversion. It’s not just Extraversion that matters. For example, Introverts high in Agreeableness might avoid asking for help because they fear being a nuisance, while Extraverts high in Conscientiousness might mask their stress to appear reliable. Understanding these different patterns gives managers a clearer roadmap for spotting unspoken struggles before they turn into bigger problems.

Why Saying “I Need Help” Isn’t Easy for Introverts 

Workplaces can be stressful environments for Introverts (i.e. those who score low in Extraversion on the Big Five) because they’re filled with so many daily interactions. All Introverts need time away from stimulation (phones ringing, Slack pings, meetings, conversations) to recharge. They might respond to stressful work periods by retreating and putting their head down, especially if they are also high in Conscientiousness and thus feel driven to stay focused and meet expectations. The pressure to perform can intensify their tendency to avoid interruptions or requests for support.

Many Introverts find it hard to speak up and advocate for themselves in group situations. But if they're also high in Agreeableness, they may be reluctant to ask for help because they don’t want to inconvenience others or risk being perceived as needy. Agreeableness is the trait of cooperation; people high in Agreeableness often go out of their way to make colleagues feel supported and included. This means they may suppress their own struggles to avoid creating tension or appearing difficult, sometimes to their own detriment.

Given this dynamic, you might assume your team member, Sam, is handling things just fine because he didn’t flag any issues during a meeting. But he could be feeling overwhelmed but doesn’t want to draw attention to himself.

How to support Introverts

• Have one-on-one conversations  

When you see a team member staying silent in a group setting, try not to put them on the spot in front of others. Instead, have a one-on-one conversation with them afterwards. You could say, “I noticed you seemed a bit quiet when we were talking about project progress updates. Is there anything you’d like to talk about?” 

Regular check-ins can also help Introverts who don’t typically speak up about their challenges feel more comfortable confiding in you. Research by online survey tool Qualtrics found that 55% percent of workers who describe themselves as Introverts feel like their organization doesn’t care about their opinions – this suggests they want to be heard, you just have to establish the right environment and communication channels for their voices to be included. Ask your Introverts directly about their preferred ways to communicate and collaborate, whether that means written feedback, scheduled one-on-ones or simply more time to process meeting topics.

• Consider Introvert-friendly team-building exercises

Team-building activities designed for Introverts, such as problem-solving workshops in smaller groups, can help your team bond and encourage Introverts to speak up in ways that feel comfortable and natural. These activities often focus on collaboration and shared goals rather than putting individuals on the spot, which helps Introverts participate without social pressure. Team-building sessions can also help Introverts “buddy up” with Extraverted team members, who may be able to provide support when group dynamics feel a bit overwhelming for them. 

• Make room for written communication

If you stop by an Introvert’s cubicle to chat or check in about a project, you might be met with radio silence. Sudden, unplanned interactions aren’t always the best way to encourage Introverts to open up, brainstorm or provide project updates; they prefer to have a chance to formulate their responses. Fire off an email to say you’ll be stopping by, and make a habit of sending agendas or questions before team meetings so Introverts have time to prepare. 

Why Extraverts Need Support Too 

You might see Jamie enthusiastically sharing ideas with co-workers or Pamela keeping your team in stitches with her excellent humor, but don’t assume team members with high Extraversion are always comfortable asking for help. Although they exude energy and enthusiasm, some Extraverts may try to maintain a facade that everything’s okay to avoid appearing vulnerable or incompetent. 

If an Extravert is also high in Openness, they may embrace every new project that intrigues them, but still hesitate to ask for help if they believe they should solve novel problems independently. High Openness can make Extraverts especially curious and solution-oriented—yet, in fast-paced teams, these individuals might hide their struggles to maintain their image as adaptable and inventive contributors.

When Extraversion combines with Agreeableness, there could also be a people-pleasing tendency at play: these colleagues work hard to gain approval, which can make them reluctant to seek support out of fear of rejection or disappointing others.

How to support Extraverts

• Encourage idea-sharing 

Extraverts thrive in environments where they can bounce ideas off each other and “talk out loud” to organize their thoughts, so build in regular brainstorming sessions and creative problem-solving meetings. These sessions should open space for team members to share both their wins and their challenges and normalize talking about what support they might need.

• Ask specific questions 

Extraverts may appear upbeat but still struggle with asking for help. During check-ins, focus on specific, open-ended prompts that encourage honesty. Instead of “How’s the project going?” try “How’s it going on a scale from 1 to 10?” You can then follow up, for example, by asking what’s working well and what resources might help them move from a 7 to a 9. This approach signals that discussing small challenges is expected and supported.

• Prompt them about their needs 

Extraverts are often eager to take on new projects, but their excitement can sometimes lead to overwhelm and frustration when, two weeks later, they’re late on their deadline. To support them, make it routine to ask, “What do you need more of—time or resources?” rather than waiting for them to admit they’re overloaded. Encourage thinking out loud during check-ins, as many Extraverts process ideas best by talking them through.

Practical Takeaways for Balanced Team Management

Asking for help isn’t easy for most people, regardless of whether they’re the loudest or quietest person in the meeting room. Every team has a mix: some colleagues vanish into their screens when the pressure’s on, others crack jokes even when they’re struggling inside. That’s just how workplaces work.

The manager’s role is to make it normal to talk about what’s tough – the structures you put in place must give permission for honesty. The more practical it feels for people to check in and share what they need, the less likely anyone is to slip through the cracks. What matters most is making sure no one’s left trying to manage alone.