The Myers-Briggs Types Who Should Think Twice Before “Taking a Break” From Their Relationship

Every couple goes through relationship challenges, and everyone handles them differently. Some find that “taking a break” gives them space to do the personal work so they can come back together stronger, but for many, this approach can backfire. Not all personality types manage relationship breaks as they hope—sometimes, a pause can leave the relationship worse than before, or even dead in the water. 

The difference between a successful time out and a damaging one often lies in how each person processes distance and conflict. These Myers and Briggs types are especially vulnerable during relationship breaks, as time apart can leave them feeling more anxious or disconnected than before.

INFP: Reluctant to Reenter the Relationship once Trust is Gone 

INFPs have an idealistic approach to life and love. They enter into relationships with their whole heart and lead with their feelings, which makes it difficult for them to keep their distance when taking a break. Either the INFP will not respect the pause and will continue to contact their partner, which risks driving them away, or they’ll become fixated on what the break means, sometimes to the point of obsession.

Taking a break can also create a chasm between the INFP and their partner. It isn’t easy to earn an INFP’s trust, and it isn’t easy to get back trust that has been lost. When their intuition goes into overdrive, the INFP might overanalyze even the most innocent or logical of intentions and draw the conclusion that their partner has already abandoned the relationship. They lose trust in their partner and the sense of emotional safety they once had in the relationship, and this can cause the whole thing to fizzle out.

What to do instead: If you or your partner is an INFP, the answer is offering reassurance and support, not distance. Create a calm, open dialogue where you can both express yourselves honestly, without judgment. Commit to working through the relationship problems together, and remain patient. What the INFP needs most is clarity about the status of the relationship and reassurance that you’re both ready to address what isn’t working.

ENFJ: A Break Can Feel Like a Total Unraveling

ENFJs value consistency and stability in relationships, and they also want to fix whatever they sense is broken. Taking a break can feel their partner isn’t willing to do the hard work of repairing the relationship or, just as importantly, isn’t prepared to do the hard work together. ENFJs want emotional connection, teamwork and open communication. If space becomes total radio silence, they’re going to feel abandoned. 

ENFJs also struggle to advocate for their own needs. While some personalities will use a break to work through the relationship’s issues without interference from their partner, an ENFJ may become too lost in grief to identify what their needs even are, let alone discern what went wrong in their part of the relationship. The unanswered questions may cause the ENFJ to ruminate on every detail, conversation, flaw and missed opportunity, leaving them feeling untethered and spiraling into self doubt. 

What to do instead: If you or your partner is an ENFJ, it’s best to skip jumping to “let’s take a break” and instead lean into the ENFJ’s desire for teamwork. They’ll want to discuss and resolve problems with you, not as a team of one. It’s fine if one of you needs some space, but clarify that you are still here and willing to work through things together after you have had a couple of days to cool off.

INFJ: Internalizes a Break as a Rejection 

It’s hard for INFJs to find love, so when an INFJ commits to someone, they’re all in. These idealists make decisions through their feelings, and factors such as emotional openness, authenticity, loyalty and emotional intimacy are all very important to them. Any interruption to the steady flow of connection can leave the INFJ reeling, or even spiraling. INFJs struggle with rejection, and taking a break can sure feel like one. 

Inside a relationship, the INFJ’s Intuitive, pattern-spotting side will have them ruminating over every conversation, detail and argument, looking for what went wrong and how they can fix it. But once they instigate a break, their emotional hurt may override their ability to assess the situation logically. The emotional distance can signal their brain to replay memories, on an endless loop, crippling them from taking action. They may also shut their partner out—the infamous INFJ door slam—to protect their heart or to feel emotionally distant from their partner. Once trust gets tarnished, it may be too hard to earn back, and the INFJ may dwell on the hurt so much that they associate their partner with yet another rejection.

What to do instead: A relationship with an INFJ is a rarity, characterized by whole-hearted commitment and trust. Stepping away without any explanation may break that bond and make repair impossible, so it’s better to stay in the relationship and have all the conversations you need to share your feelings and hopes. If you want to make the relationship work, reassure the INFJ that you’re still committed and emotionally invested. Open, honest conversations will prevent the INFJ from losing trust, doorslamming or distancing themselves. 

ISFJ: Sees Time Out as a Sign of Personal Failure  

ISFJs are many things—warm-hearted, loyal and logical, to name a few. These traits all equal consistency in relationships. ISFJs want to protect their partner, and they offer a compassionate and caring disposition that makes the relationship feel stable. A relationship break threatens that sense of stability, and it may push the ISFJ into an unhealthy pattern of self-blame. 

The ISFJ will feel vulnerable if their partner wants to work through issues solo. Dealing with anxiety may make the break unproductive for the ISFJ, as they’ll spend most of their time wondering what went wrong and blaming themselves for shared issues, rather than logically assessing what they can do to work through the relationship on their own side. ISFJs also struggle with abrupt changes. Flipping from “together” to “apart” feels disorienting for them, and may cause a rift in their trust and commitment level.

What to do instead: If you or your partner is an ISFJ, work on creating a steady foundation of communication. ISFJs want to problem-solve through teamwork, so working together to repair the relationship is the most effective way to address the conflicts. Try to create an emotionally safe space for a conversation while remaining steady in your commitment to working together. Regular check-ins will help the ISFJ feel reassured and reaffirmed in their trust.

A Few More Types Who May Struggle  

The above four personality types are the most likely to struggle with resolving any issues through a relationship break. However, some other Myers and Briggs types can also feel unable to fix the relationship alone: 

ESFJ: A relationship break will signal rejection, abandonment or a lack of emotional support to the Providers of the 16-type system. These types may spend too much time catastrophizing the worst outcome of the break, and the ambiguous nature of the situation may lead them to detach emotionally.  

ESFP: ESFPs thrive on being present with their partner and sharing experiences in real time. A relationship break can feel like an unnatural pause in the deep emotional rhythm they’ve built with someone. Instead of using the time apart for reflection, ESFPs may dwell on the emptiness of not having their partner around, and the longer the break goes on, the more likely they are to spiral into self-doubt.

ENFP: ENFPs place a lot of value on emotional intensity in their relationships. Their passionate, optimistic nature makes them a loyal and supportive partner. But taking a break can cause them to overthink and question how real the relationship was, perhaps leading them to label the relationship as ingenuine from the start. 

When Taking a Break is the Wrong Move 

While some couples may truly reap the benefits of time apart, others may find a break is the start of the end. The above Myers and Briggs types may want to rethink their approach to repairing relationship issues, and commit to tackling them together, as taking a step back can often do more harm than good. Trust and loyalty are precious to some personality types. Sometimes, the best way to honor them is by facing challenges side by side, rather than risk losing trust that will never return.