Slow Fade or Kittenfishing? Here's the Dating Trend You're Guilty Of, By Personality Type

Modern dating can be a real head-scratcher. With terms like ‘zombieing’ and ‘orbiting’ popping up everywhere, it’s clear that romance has gotten a lot more complex. 

Making things even more complicated, each of the 16 types has its own unique way of navigating the wild landscape of the dating world. Are you a bencher or a hardballer? A stasher or a vulture? Let’s find out!

INTP: Orbiting and Gatsbying

Decisions aren’t your thing, are they INTP? You often struggle with decision-making, and that makes you quite passive when it comes to emotions or relationships. Because of this, you might “orbit” a past lover or romantic interest, sticking around in the background and stalking their social media while you sort out your feelings and decide if you want to reconnect. 

If you do decide you want to reach out, you’ll probably choose to “Gatsby” your love interest. That’s where you post some kind of “bait” on social media, hoping the other person will take the hint and initiate. Because goodness knows, you don’t want to be the one making the first move! 

INFP: Benching

“Benching” is exactly what it sounds like—you keep your romantic interest on standby while you figure out if it’s you you really want. INFPs are very likely to do this, often without realizing it, for several reasons. You're prone to dragging out decisions, so you need to keep things on hold while you work through your own complicated emotions. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, so you keep them on the bench instead of cutting ties. And let’s be honest, sometimes it’s just nice to have someone there on the backburner for validation until you're ready to make a move.

ISFP: Ghosting and Zombieing

ISFPs are sensitive and non-confrontational folks. If things start feeling overwhelming, you notice red flags, or simply lose interest, you might just “ghost” the person instead of having an awkward conversation. That could mean suddenly not responding to messages or calls, unfollowing your date on social media or even blocking them. If you later decide you want to reconnect, you’re likely to “zombie” the person—sending a casual “hi, how are you?” without an apology or explanation, just to dodge a difficult conversation. 

ISTP: Situationships 

ISTPs are free spirits who like to go with the flow instead of getting caught up in plans or expectations. Because of this, you often find yourself in “situationships,” enjoying the perks of companionship without any labels or commitments. This way, you can connect with someone in a chill, laid-back way, explore your interests and keep your options open without feeling the pressure of a serious relationship. It’s all about enjoying the moment for you!

INFJ: Slow Fade

INFJs are empathetic and deeply concerned about others’ feelings. Your heart just won’t allow you to directly end a relationship if you’ve fallen out of love or no longer want to be in it for whatever reason. Instead, you might let the relationship “slow fade.” This is where you gradually distance yourself because you find it too hard to confront the person head-on, especially if you think the truth will hurt. You hope that by slowly pulling away, the relationship will just naturally come to an end without causing as much pain. For them or for you.

INTJ: Hardballing

Known for their strategic thinking and direct approach, INTJs approach relationships with a clear sense of what they want. In dating, you are definitely a “hardballer”—meaning you’re upfront about your intentions and expectations right from the get-go. You’ll tell someone if you’re looking for a serious relationship, just want a fling, or like them enough to keep seeing them on some level, but not enough to ever move things forward. It can come off as brutal, but that’s just how INTJs roll!

ISFJ: Playing It Safe

ISFJs are pragmatic yet sensitive souls who tend to take a very long time to recover from the heartache of a breakup. You find it very difficult to end a relationship, even when things just aren’t working out. So, you prefer to “play it safe” when it comes to dating. This means taking your time getting to know someone and holding back emotionally as you figure it out. If there’s a real connection there, you’ll dive in. Until then, you play things close to the vest. 

ISTJ:  Stashing

ISTJs have a structured and methodical approach to everything, including dating and relationships. Your go-to dating trend is “stashing”—keeping your romantic life separate from work, family and friends, and treating it more like a casual side gig. You don’t see the need to integrate someone into your wider life unless you’re sure the relationship is headed somewhere. It keeps things just as you like them—simple, tidy and uncomplicated. 

ENFP: Submarining

ENFPs are all about spontaneity, curiosity and charm, which can sometimes lead you to "submarine" in relationships. This is where you suddenly fall off the radar without explanation, only to resurface later as if nothing happened. Your charm and social finesse makes it easy for you to slip back into someone’s life without addressing why you vanished in the first place. Other types couldn't get away with half as much.

ENTP: Cushioning

“Cushioning” is when you meet and flirt with others on the side so as not to miss out on a potentially better connection than your ‘main’ love interest. Some types will find this behavior to be selfish, but ENTPs see it as being open-minded and realistic about the possibilities. You love your independence, and cushioning gives you the freedom to keep your options open. If your current relationship starts feeling too restrictive, you’ve already got a backup plan in place.

ESFP: Breadcrumbing

ESFPs love being the life of the party and soaking up all the social vibes. You’re also very big on validation and really like the idea that someone’s still into you, even if you’re not planning to take things any further. This can sometimes lead you to “breadcrumb”—giving just enough attention and affection to keep the other person hooked without any intention of moving the relationship forward. Breadcrumbing gives you your fix of validation. But is it fair to the person you’re leading on?

ESTP: Casual Flings

For ESTPs, dating is about having fun and experiencing new things rather than getting tied down with serious commitments. You are a thrill–seeker at heart, which is why you tend to have a lot of casual flings. But you don’t play mind games or engage in unnecessary drama, so you usually have no problem communicating where you stand. You value authenticity, ESTP, so you appreciate partners who can keep things light and enjoy the moment with you.

ENFJ: Kittenfishing

ENFJs are naturally charismatic and get a kick out of making a strong, positive impression on others. Sometimes, this can lead you to “kittenfish.” It’s like a softer version of catfishing—where you tweak your online profile to present an idealized version of yourself. Think pictures taken at flattering angles, adding three inches to your height, or exaggerating your job title. While it might come across as misleading, your goal is usually more about standing out, rather than trying to deceive anyone. But what happens when they want to meet in person? Those filters don't work in real life, ENFJ!

ENTJ: Vulturing

ENTJs are opportunistic, goal-oriented and determined to get what they want. If you are interested in someone but this person is already in a relationship, you might engage in “vulturing”—waiting for that relationship to end so you can swoop in and pursue the person. If you see potential, you’re not afraid to play the long game, patiently biding your time until the moment is right to make your move. 

ESFJ: Premature Intimacy 

ESFJs are eager to connect, especially if the person has made a strong impression on you. That makes you the type most likely to dive into “premature intimacy” or PMI. You might share too much personal information and become physically and emotionally affectionate very early on, which could be just too much for the other person. It may even feel like love-bombing to them. But your intentions are usually good, ESFJ. You’re trying to build a close bond quickly, not manipulate.

ESTJ: DTR Pressure 

Because ESTJs are so practical and take-charge, you might be guilty of  “DTR”—Define the Relationship—where you push for clarity and commitment very early on. You’ve probably noticed a pattern in your relationships where you are always the one to start a conversation about the future and expectations in the relationship sooner than other people. While some might appreciate your direct approach, it can feel overwhelming for those who prefer to let things develop more slowly and naturally.

Final Words

Dating today can be a real maze, and every personality type has their own style, whether it’s ghosting, cushioning or hardballing. But it’s important to know that any type can pull any of these moves! What really matters are the reasons behind you. For example, an ISFP might ghost out of the fear of confrontation, while an INTJ could do it for a more strategic reason. So, it’s important to treat each situation on a case-by-case basis and understand where someone’s coming from. A little empathy and open chat can really help clear things up and lead to better connections in the end.