The Trait You Find Attractive, Based on Your Myers and Briggs Personality Type

Attraction is a tricky thing.

These days, most people do not really have a “type” anymore. With so many ways to meet new people and so much emphasis on personal growth, we are more open than ever to dating partners who are different from us. It’s why you might look back at your dating history and wonder how you ever thought you had a pattern. It’s also why, when scrolling through dating apps, it can feel impossible to put your finger on exactly what you’re looking for.

So, where do you start? Your Myers and Briggs personality type can offer some clues about what you find attractive in a romantic partner. If you are curious, keep reading to see what your personality type reveals about your heart’s true desire!

ENFJ: Depth (Meaningful Conversation)

Dating can be a real challenge for you, ENFJ. You’re outgoing, charismatic and never afraid to shoot your shot. This makes you stand out, but it also means you sometimes attract people who are just looking for something casual. You’re easy to talk to, so strangers at the bar naturally strike up conversations with you. But since your energy is magnetic, people might assume you’re only interested in looks or instant chemistry.

There’s so much more to you than that. You are charming for sure, but you are also thoughtful and idealistic, always looking for deeper meaning and genuine connection. You’d much rather have a long, heartfelt conversation over a homemade dinner than flirt in a crowded club. You’re not searching for a fling—you want something real, a kindred spirit. When you meet another person who can hold a deep conversation, you feel like you’ve finally found your person.

INFJ: Transparency (Honest Communication)

If you’re an INFJ, you probably have a pretty clear picture of your “dream partner,” and you’re not about to settle for less. Your idealism can make it tough to find the right relationship, or to stay satisfied in one that doesn’t quite measure up. But those high standards serve you well. They help you set healthy boundaries and give you the strength to walk away from relationships that just aren’t right for you.

Honest communication is at the top of your list when it comes to what you want in a partner. You need someone who’s truly on your wavelength, and that only happens when both people can talk openly and honestly with each other.

INFJs really appreciate a partner who’s upfront, because trust is everything to you. If your partner tells you they’ll need some space because work is hectic, instead of just disappearing for a week? That’s exactly the kind of maturity that makes you feel safe and valued.

ENFP: Humor and Intelligence

On the outside (and on the inside), ENFPs are bouncing off the walls. Your energy infuses everything you do, and you bring life to work environments, classrooms and events with your humor. But what sets you apart from the “class clown” is that you are deeply thoughtful. You can follow your friends to the club, have the night of your life, and then drive back home to have a conversation with your partner about their deepest, darkest fears.

It makes sense, then, that you are drawn to people who share this same quality: partners who can have everyone in stitches with their sense of humor, but are also well-read or thoughtful. Maybe it’s the high-achieving extravert in your major. Or it could be the quiet, industrious coworker with a dry sense of humor. Whoever your future partner is, they’ll have to be able to make you laugh—and also make you think.

INFP: Attentiveness

INFPs are so observant that they can’t help getting invested in random people’s lives. You feel for that girl at the café whose friends keep talking over her. You follow celebrity marriage drama with so much emotion, it’s as if you’re the one going through it. You understand people’s motivations so well that you even find yourself sympathizing with those who have hurt you.

When someone gives you that same level of empathy and understanding, you melt. More than anything, you want a partner who truly notices you—someone who sees and cherishes the small things. You want someone who remembers the things you talk about for hours, keeps track of what you love, and gives gifts that show they’re really paying attention

ENTJ: Ambition

Out of all the types, ENTJs are among the least likely to tolerate dating losers. You hold so much power on your own—ambitious career goals, healthy habits, big aspirations—that anyone joining your life needs to add to that energy, not drain it. Your partner must have goals and dreams outside of the relationship.

In other words, you’re attracted to people with ambition. You want someone who isn’t content to stay where they are, but is always striving to grow. Nothing excites you more than being on a date and hearing your partner talk with real passion about their plans for the next work quarter. You love waking up at 6 a.m. together to chase down gym goals. With couples progress photos included, of course.

INTJ: Intellectual Curiosity

INTJs can often feel out of place because you care about the “wrong” things. Your friends might not want to hear your thoughts on politics (too real), the existential crisis you had on your midnight walk (too heavy), or the obscure topics you dive into on Wikipedia at 3 a.m. (too niche). But when you meet someone who shares that same intellectual curiosity, you’re instantly hooked. You could listen to their ramblings about the world for hours.

For you, it’s incredibly attractive when someone casually mentions a paper they read about sexual ethics, chameleons or walkable cities. The topics might change, but what matters is that they’re passionate enough to seek out new knowledge and ideas

ENTP: Wit

You, ENTP, are funny not just because you’re smart, but because you’re a creative thinker. You can turn anything into source material for a joke—current events, class readings, or even your own misfortune (which, let’s be honest, is a coping mechanism, but that’s a story for another time). Even when you’re not cracking jokes out loud, your inner monologue is hilarious.

Like all comedians, you want to be around people who appreciate your humor. But when it comes to romance, you want a partner who can keep up and match your wit.

You love taking a joke so far with someone that you’re both in tears from laughing. You love being able to just raise your eyebrows at your partner and have them instantly get the joke. Inside jokes are your love language.

INTP: Understanding

INTPs often feel like nobody really gets them. While your peers seem focused on “normal” interests, you’re the one contemplating deep topics and disappearing down internet rabbit holes instead of getting enough sleep. It can be hard to find someone willing to listen to you talk about your super-niche passions.

But when you meet someone who really understands and accepts you, it’s life-changing. You love when someone brings you coffee in the morning because they know you were up all night thinking about everything and nothing at once. You appreciate a partner who wants to spend a dinner date listening to your thoughts and asking follow-up questions. Whether they’re introverted or extraverted, what matters most is their openness to truly understanding who you are.

ESTJ: Proactivity

Among all the personality types, ESTJs are the ones who push plans forward. You’re the friend who rounds everyone up for breakfast on vacation and the one who organizes the whole group’s trip to Disneyland. Taking charge and being proactive gives you a real sense of satisfaction. But while you enjoy being in control, you can get tired of always being the main initiator. When you’re the only one texting in the group chat to lock down plans or trying to salvage yet another flexible date night, it can feel like your efforts go unnoticed.

That’s why you’re attracted to people who show proactivity. You appreciate partners who take on responsibilities without being asked. You care more about someone going grocery shopping on their own than about flowers or romantic words (though those are nice too). Your ideal partner won’t push their agenda over yours but will work with you to make a team plan.

ISTJ: Reliability

ISTJs make great long-term partners because they are practical and dependable. You thrive in routines and see stability as a blessing, not a source of boredom. Whether it’s dropping the kids off on time, scheduling date nights or sticking to a budget, you take pride in keeping things running smoothly.

In the early stages of a relationship, unreliability is a major turn-off for you. You’ve built such strong self-trust that if someone promises to do something, you expect them to follow through. Why be with someone you can’t rely on as much as you rely on yourself?

You love it when your partner wants to clearly define the relationship (no endless situationships here) and shows up on time for dates. Those little things go a long way in earning your trust.

ESFJ: Stability (Grounding Energy)

The romantic type for ESFJs is hard to pinpoint because you get along with almost everyone. Out of all your friends, you’re probably the one with the most varied string of exes. Still, you tend to thrive in relationships where your partner brings a sense of mellowness and stability—a grounding energy. Even though you’re extraverted, you often find yourself drawn to more introverted people, proving that, for you, opposites attract.

Your enthusiasm is one of your strengths, but it’s healthy for you to be with someone a little more low-key. When you’re rushing out the door to work, it’s nice to have a partner who remembers to pack your lunch. When you’re quick to forgive someone who’s let you down, you benefit from having someone observant by your side, helping you set boundaries and keep your feet on the ground.

ISFJ: Kindness

ISFJs are a gentle spirit underneath your friendly exterior. Unlike many, you look for romantic relationships because you genuinely enjoy showing love, not because you need someone to validate you. There’s something deeply appealing to you about giving a special kind of love to just one person.

But all of this depends on being with someone who truly appreciates your kindness and doesn’t mistake it for weakness. You’ve probably been taken advantage of before because you always try to see the good in others. Your ideal partner will protect your spirit, not manipulate it.

You’re instantly drawn to someone even kinder than you are. On first dates, you pay attention to how your date treats the waiter or reacts to traffic. And if they mention caring for their elderly parents or volunteering regularly? It’s a done deal.

ESFP: Intrigue 

ESFPs are one of the personality types least likely to have a set romantic “type” or to overthink what you want before diving into a relationship. What draws you in at first isn’t always what you end up wanting most, deep down.

You’re attracted to people who spark your curiosity—those who have an air of intrigue. Sometimes that means people who are just like you, but you’re also drawn to those who are quiet and self-contained. While the crowd rages around them, they keep to themselves and look good doing it. There’s something about their mysterious vibe that pulls you in, even if it sometimes leads to a short-term situationship.

Over time, though, you tend to realize you actually prefer being with partners who are more like you—open books who care more about enjoying life than keeping up a mysterious front.

ISFP: Individuality

Every type cares about looks to some extent, but for ISFPs, beauty goes way beyond physical appearance. It has everything to do with someone’s vibe: their style, the energy they give off and their sense of individuality.

You love to romanticize your life and appreciate art in all its forms. You want your world—and your relationships—to feel cinematic, just like the stories you adore. That’s why you’re drawn to people who seem like they could bring that magic into your life.

You especially notice those who stand out with their own personal style. Rather than judging by conventional standards, you might find yourself fixated on one distinctive trait—clear blue eyes, striking cheekbones—anything that feels like daydream material.

ESTP: Confidence

You, ESTP, are a no-nonsense individual. You are fully aware of your strengths and never shy about owning them. When you spot a weakness in yourself, you admit it and work to fix it. Your confidence comes from seeing yourself and the world around you for what they are.

Because you are secure in who you are, you have little patience for partners who lack confidence or try too hard to impress you. Anything that seems approval-seeking, like self-deprecating neediness from a partner, tends to make you uncomfortable.

You’re attracted to people who have their own passions and pursue them wholeheartedly. You appreciate those who love their own energy and show up fully in conversations without second-guessing themselves.

ISTP: Independence

ISTPs are the embodiment of “I’mma do my own thing.” You’re not interested in following the crowd, but you don’t go out of your way to craft an independent identity either. What matters most is having your own space and being in a relationship that respects your autonomy.

You prefer partners who don’t need to be glued to you every second of the day. Since alone time is important to you, quality time probably isn’t your primary love language. You enjoy being with your partner, but you also need them to understand and respect your need for space.

While shared interests are always a plus, you’re especially attracted to independent people who are different from you. If you’re into cars, you’ll support a partner who reads romance novels. If you’re majoring in art, you’ll happily coordinate schedules with someone studying computer science. You’re drawn to the cool, confident person who is charming but doesn’t rely on you to feel whole—that’s what truly attracts you.