What Type of Empathy Do You Have: Emotional, Cognitive or Compassionate?

When we think of empathy, we tend to think of it as the ability to intuit others’ emotions, and that some people are better at it than others. But empathy is more like intelligence in the sense that it comes in different forms. It’s generally categorized into three types: 

• Emotional empathy (or affective empathy) is feeling what other people feel. It’s like catching glimpses of someone else’s emotions, almost as if they were your own. 
• Cognitive empathy is understanding others’ emotions on a theoretical level—based on their behavior and the situational context—rather than feeling with them.
• Compassionate empathy goes beyond simply feeling or understanding. It drives you to take action and actually do something about someone else's pain or suffering.

So, it’s not about how “good” or “bad” you are at empathy. Rather, it’s about figuring out which type of empathy comes naturally to you and where you might need to level up. 

With this in mind, here’s how empathy plays out for you. We’ve broken it down by temperament, that is, whether you are a Theorist, Responder, Empath or Preserver.

Theorists:  Cognitive Empathy

Theorists (ENTJ, ENTP, INTJ, INTP) are all about rationality and logical thinking. This influences not only how they see the world, but also how they emphasize—that is, with their mind rather than with their heart. In other words, they have cognitive empathy. They are great at analyzing interpersonal dynamics and deducing how someone might feel based on the context and their behavior. 

For example, if a friend is venting about their partner forgetting an important anniversary, a Theorist will not just listen, but will also try to understand the wider context of the situation. They might say something like, "Don’t take it so personally. It doesn't mean he doesn't care. I mean, he has a lot going on right now—with the new job and all." 

While this may help put things into perspective for their friend, it may not be what they are looking for at that moment. Chances are, they already know it deep down, but are feeling upset regardless and want someone to acknowledge and validate it. In other words, they are seeking emotional empathy, which is not a Theorist’s strong suit. That’s why people often perceive Theorists as insensitive and emotionally detached, even if they have good intentions at heart—to listen, understand and, ultimately, help.

As for Theorists’ compassionate empathy, it’s not their strong suit either. Although they totally get what someone is going through emotionally and what might help, they’re not exactly the type to actually go and do something about it. It’s not that they don’t care—they do. It’s just how they are wired.

For example, a Theorist might see that a friend is going through a rough time and could really use some company or a little distraction to take their mind off things. But instead of just showing up for them, they might get caught up in overthinking, trying to come up with a solution instead. 

Responders: Emotional Empathy

Responders  (ESTP, ESFP, ISTP, ISFP) are all about living in the moment. They are deeply attuned to the sensory and emotional details of their immediate environment—the sights, sounds, smells and especially the vibes of the people around them. When it comes to empathy, Responders are true naturals at picking up on others’ emotional states and responding in real time. However, they don’t think about it—they’re feeling others’ emotions almost on a gut level. That’s emotional empathy at play. 

For example, a Responder might walk into a room and instantly feel the tension—even if there are no obvious signs that something is off. It’s like they have a built-in radar that scans the room and picks up on everyone’s subtle emotional cues—the body language, the facial expressions, the tone of voice and so on—and then pieces it all together to figure out the overall vibe. They might instinctively ask something like “Hey, is everything OK here?” or make a light-hearted comment to diffuse the tension. 

But, because they’re so focused on what’s happening right now, Responders might overlook the deeper context of a more complex situation, which comes with cognitive empathy. For example, if a friend is feeling down about something that’s been brewing for a while, a Responder might just try to cheer them up with a distraction or offer them a shoulder to cry on. They’re not really the type of person who would dive into a more serious conversation to unpack what’s really going on.

While this makes them great at providing emotional support in the moment, it can sometimes come across as if they’re just putting a Band-Aid on a deeper wound. It’s not like they just want to brush off someone’s feelings. It’s just that, for Responder types, their strength lies in addressing what they can see and feel right now. 

As for Responders’ capacity for compassionate empathy, it can also be a mixed bag. In the moment, they might help out in a practical way, like bringing over some food if a friend is stuck at home sick, or jumping in to assist with a task to lighten a colleague’s workload. But, because they’re so wired to focus on the here and now, they might not always follow up or check in later to see how things are going. It’s not that they don’t care—it’s just that they simply don’t have the mental bandwidth for it because they’re usually onto the next big thing before they even realize it!

Empaths: Every Type of Empathy 

Empaths (ENFJ, ENFP, INFJ, INFP) excel in emotional empathy—they can truly sense what people are feeling on a whole other level. It’s like they have a sixth sense for tuning into others' emotional states and resonating with them without a second thought. 

But for Empaths, it’s not just about feeling with people in the moment—they are really good at cognitive empathy too. They can not only offer a sympathetic ear when someone is feeling upset, but also take time to dig beneath the surface and understand the bigger picture. They are very good at timing too—they know when to just listen and nod, when to dish out advice, and when a well-timed joke will do more good than any words of wisdom.

When it comes to compassionate empathy, Empaths don’t fall short either. They don’t just feel and understand what someone is going through—they’re ready to jump in and actually do something about it. For example, if a friend is struggling financially, an Empath won’t just be there to provide comforting presence and advice. They’ll go the extra mile, maybe helping them set up a budget, lending them money, or even paying a part of their rent to take some of the pressure off.

While having high empathy on all three fronts—cognitive, emotional, and compassionate—is definitely a superpower, there is a flip side to it, too. If Empaths aren’t careful, they could end up getting too wrapped up in other people’s problems. As a result, they might overextend themselves and lose sight of their own goals and self-care routines. And if not kept in check, their high empathy powers could even lead to burnout!

Preservers: Compassionate Empathy 

Preservers (ESTJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, ISFJ) are the types who truly live by the “actions speak louder than words” motto. So, it’s hardly surprising that they lean towards the compassionate style of empathy. For them, it’s ultimately about showing up and making sure things are taken care of. Struggling to keep up with your workload? A Preserver will step in without a second thought. Need someone to help you move house? They’ll show up bright and early with a coffee and a checklist in hand. 

Preservers’ cognitive empathy is also well-developed, especially when it comes to anticipating how others might react to changes or disruptions—be it a breakup, a shift in a routine, or just a change in daily plans. They can often sense when someone is about to feel overwhelmed, upset, or uneasy—sometimes before the person even realizes it themselves!

However, Preservers often fall short on the emotional empathy front. They don’t really see the point in emotional outpourings or heartfelt conversations. Moreover, they are so focused on “fixing” the problem that they just don’t see the emotional side of things. So, instead of just being there for someone as a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on, they might jump straight into problem-solving mode. They might say something like, “Why don’t you just confront them about it?”—which, while practical, might not be what the person needs at that moment.