Why Sensing and Intuitive Types Flirt in Totally Different Ways

We’ve all had that moment when a friend is replaying an interaction with their crush, saying something like, “He said this... and then he said that... Do you think he was flirting with me?” and you’re sitting there thinking, Obviously! How is this even a question? 

Or maybe the reverse happens — they’re convinced the signs are obvious, and you’re like…I don’t see it.

This confusion often comes down to whether the person leans more towards Sensing or Intuition in the Myers and Briggs system. Understanding this can help you spot the signs of flirting without overanalyzing everything they say to you.

How Sensing vs. Intuitive Types Notice Attraction

At a basic level, flirting works like any other conversation: what someone says is shaped by what they notice and focus on. The difference is that flirting has a specific goal — to communicate romantic interest, gauge whether it’s mutual, and hint that something more could happen.

Sensing types naturally notice things they can see, hear or touch. For example, they might notice how put-together your outfit is, the colors you like to wear, or how move, eat or gesticulate. In flirting, this attention translates into very literal, observable comments. Classic examples are lines like, “That color looks really good on you,” or “You smell nice,” or even just “You’re even more beautiful in person” if you met through a dating app! 

Intuitive types, on the other hand, care less about the concrete details themselves and more about what those details mean. They’re looking for patterns, themes and subtext, almost like they’re trying to get a read on the “essence” of you between the lines. 

So instead of commenting on surface-level observations, an Intuitive flirt might say things like, “You strike me as a person who knows what they want and goes after it” and “You seem really in touch with yourself and like you have no reservations. I’d love to get to know you better.” 

How Sensing vs. Intuitive Types Show Interest

You know how some people say things exactly as they are, while others hint at what they mean in a more subtle, roundabout way? That’s exactly what flirting looks like for Sensing vs. Intuitive types.

Some Sensing types — especially the Extraverts (ESTP, ESFP, ESTJ, ESFJ) who are more comfortable taking social risks — might skip subtlety altogether. These types are more likely to declare their interest and intentions plainly (“Hey, I think you’re really cute. Can I get your number?”). A perfect example of this style in action is Jacob Palmer in Crazy, Stupid, Love. He just walks up to Hannah and says, “There are a lot of beautiful women in this bar… but I can’t take my eyes off you… Can I buy you a drink?” 

The Introverted Sensors (ISTJ, ISFJ, ISTP, ISFP) are generally too reserved for such bold declarations, but they still tend to show their interest in direct, though less forward, ways (e.g. “I got this for you. I thought you might like it because you mentioned it many times”).

Intuitive types, on the other hand, tend to be less direct when expressing their interest. A good example is Jamie in Love and Other Drugs. He deliberately calls his crush “Lisa,” even though he knows that isn’t her name. As he explains in this scene, the idea is that eventually she’ll come over to correct him. Then he’ll play it off with, “Oh, I thought you were the Lisa who was mad at me for not calling” so she gets the impression that he was dating a woman who looked like her, and that will make her subconsciously want to win his approval. Hey, no one said flirting had to make sense!

How Each Type Takes Things Further

Sitting behind what people notice and how they deliver compliments is the act of thinking and processing information. In flirting, this shows up in how they test your level of attraction and attempt to take things further in a slightly more romantic or suggestive direction.

Sensing types process the world in real world terms — what someone’s doing, what happened, or what could realistically happen in the future. So when they flirt, it usually shows up in practical, in-the-moment ways rather than buried in deep subtext or layered innuendos.

For example, a Sensing type might remember how on your first date you mentioned that you hate mornings and hit snooze multiple times before getting up. Later, they might flirt by saying something like, “I bet mornings would be way more fun if we could hit snooze together…” While the subtext is present here, it’s anchored in a concrete, real-world pattern.

A good example is Joey flirting with Rachel in Friends. Remember the episode where he points out to her how “Monica and Chandler seem really tight” and then leads into, “So… maybe you and I should crank it up a notch?” Direct. Situational. Very Sensing.

Intuitive types, by contrast, are more likely to flirt using analogies, metaphor and wordplay. Those funny — and yes, sometimes cringey — suggestive pickup lines you see online (e.g. “That shirt looks really good on you… though I think it’d look even better on my bedroom’s floor”) are classic examples of Intuitive flirting. 

Check out this scene from Netflix show You, where Love Quinn flirts with Joe Goldberg. She's basically testing the waters by dropping sexual innuendoes to see if he plays along. About as Intuitive as flirting gets.

So... Were They Flirting With You?

If you’re wondering, “Are they flirting with me?” they probably are, even if it’s not the way you would do it. What’s happening here is projection — we often interpret others’ behavior based on how we ourselves would act. So when someone flirts differently from you, it might not register right away because their style doesn’t match yours.

Of course, I’m not saying you should try to type someone based on one flirty interaction. If someone gives you “sensing compliments,” it doesn’t automatically make them a Sensing type, nor does dropping innuendoes make someone Intuitive. How someone flirts is just one data point, and personality typing only works when you look at the broader context of how someone thinks, communicates and moves through the world. And let’s face it, flirting is often less about what’s said and more about how it’s said — tone, timing, eye contact, vibe.

Ultimately, if you want success in your own flirting, the best advice is to flirt in a way that feels natural to you. If it lands well, great. If it misses the mark, that’s fine too. At the end of the day, flirting isn’t meant to guarantee outcomes. It’s meant to test chemistry.