Why You Feel Lost in Life, Based on Your Myers and Briggs Personality Type

While everyone can feel directionless at some point, the reasons for these feelings can vary greatly depending on your where you fall in the 16 personality types system. Here’s why you may be feeling lost in life—and some advice to help you regain your footing—based on your Myers and Briggs personality type.

INFP: Life Doesn't Feel Genuine

INFPs can feel lost when they find themselves in situations that lack authenticity or don’t resonate with their deeply held beliefs. If INFPs aren’t in a position to make a change, such as quitting a soul-sucking job because of a poor job market or leaving a dead-end relationship because of their housing situation for example, they can end up questioning their ability to live authentically. This core need–to live authentically–is key to the INFP’s self concept and without it, they can feel adrift and become despondent.

Advice for lost INFPs:

• Remember and envision what a fulfilling and authentic life looks like for you. Energy follows thought after all, and keeping your life goals front and center in your mind’s eye is a great way for INFPs to center themselves and move in the right direction. Think about jotting down what your ideal life would look like, especially how you’d feel and what activities you’d be doing as your ideal self. You can even think about creating a mini-art project with a vision board to keep this view of your ideal self top of mind, even if immediate changes aren’t possible.
• Making sweeping changes all at once may be impossible and even if they are achievable the pace of that change can be overwhelming. Break your vision of your ideal self into smaller, actionable steps and start moving towards it, one baby step at a time—the forward momentum will help keep you motivated as you pull yourself out of the rut. 

INTP: Overthinking Everything

INTPs can feel lost when their constant need to question everything leaves them exhausted, overwhelmed and unsure. INTPs are so invested in figuring out the ultimate meaning of their lives, they can become disenchanted and lost when they come to the realization that nothing can be known for sure. This makes it hard for them to feel stable and grounded in a world that seems full of uncertainty.

Advice for lost INTPs:

• Take a breather from your relentless logic and tune in to your emotions—what really resonates with you deep down, regardless of how logical it is? Finding your true feelings and live inside them, without analysis or judgement. This can help INTPs calm their thinking patterns and get in touch with what they really want. 
• Try journaling to help sort through some of your more complicated and conflicting thoughts. The practice of writing alone can give your inner ruminations more structure and help tame them. Or find someone you can trust to talk to about your thoughts, in order to gain different perspectives and ways of looking at the problem or issues. Talking to a friend or family member also provides much-needed emotional support and can remind you that you are not alone in grappling with these big thoughts.

ISFP: Not Being Able to Go With the Flow

Life is all about freedom of expression for ISFPs, and they can feel lost when they are unable to follow their own rhythm and just be authentically and freely themselves. Having to follow a strict work schedule or rigid routine at home can make them feel hemmed in and stifled, and when under this kind of stress, ISFPs can start to question if there is something wrong with them and tend to question why everyone else is fine living within these constraints.

Advice for lost ISFPs: 

• Look for ways to get more flexibility in your life, by negotiating for more freedom within your constraints. For example, you could agree to give your partner a heads-up before changing plans, so you can still be spontaneous while honoring your commitment to them and keeping important stuff on track.
• Accept and explain to others that your need for flexibility and spontaneity is an integral part of who you are, so people don’t take it personally. Be open and honest about this personality trait, and work together with your colleagues and loved ones to find a balance that both honors your commitments and others, but that also allows you to feel free.

ISTP: Lacking Autonomy and Personal Space

ISTPs like to do things on their own terms and can feel lost when they find themselves in situations where they feel constrained or overly controlled, such as dealing with a micro-managing boss at work or being in an overly dependent relationship. However, breaking free is tricky for this conflict-adverse personality type, as it requires them to speak up. Within the Myers and Briggs system, ISTPs are known to avoid confrontation at all costs. 

Advice for lost ISTPs: 

• Get into the habit of addressing tough issues around your personal independence right away—don't let them pile up until you feel completely trapped by your life. Start with minor things to build your confidence in speaking up.
• Let others know your limits for personal space. For example, you might say that you only answer messages at specific times each day or that Fridays are your "me time" days.

INFJ: Being Surrounded by Superficial Relationships

Despite their social nature, INFJs may feel lost when they’re surrounded by relationships that do not provide the depth and mutual understanding they crave. At the same time, they may find it hard to open up and share their true selves, which can make it difficult for them to build deep, authentic and lasting bonds. 

Advice for lost INFJs: 

• Find communities or groups where you can connect on a deeper level. Think book clubs, volunteering work or creative projects—the types of places that allow for longer conversations and deeper, more meaningful interactions.
• Be patient with yourself as you navigate new relationships. For an INFJ, building deep friendships and bonds takes time, so you will feel uncomfortable rushing it. Go slow and open up when you feel ready. 

INTJ: Things Not Going According to Plan

INTJs are driven by a strong vision for their future, which they pursue with well-thought-out plans that are grounded in logic and pragmatism. This type can feel lost when reality fails to yield the expected results despite all their in-depth planning and strategizing. This clash with reality can make them question their own judgment and thinking, leading to chronic self-doubt and a loss of direction.

Advice for lost INTJs: 

• When making plans, allow room for adjustments and think of alternate routes to achieve your goals. By staying flexible, you avoid disappointment and are better equipped to pivot.
• Realize that when things don’t go according to plan, it doesn’t mean your thinking is flawed. It’s just that you don't know what you don't know… it really is as simple as that. Allow yourself some grace to make mistakes. 

ISFJ: Feeling Overwhelmed by Commitments

ISFJs are driven by a strong sense of duty and desire to serve others, so they may struggle with feeling lost when they have piled up so much on their plate that they don’t know where to even begin! In trying to be everything for everyone, they can end up neglecting their own well-being to the point of burnout. 

Advice for lost ISFJs: 

• When someone asks you for a favor, hit pause before saying ‘yes’ and think about whether you can handle their request without overburdening yourself. This is not being unkind or mean, this is also about honoring the commitments you do have and prioritization. We can’t take on every request and favor and deliver on them well. It is just not possible.
• Make sure to carve out some "me time" for yourself amidst all your responsibilities and personal commitments. Take time out for activities that are just about you and your enjoyment: a short walk and podcast listen, a relaxing bath at the end of the day or a wine date with a fun friend. Maybe even schedule this time into your calendar, so you can’t skip it!

ISTJ: Life Feels Too Unpredictable

ISTJs can spin-out and feel lost when life gets too unpredictable and out of control. This tends to happen during major life stressors and changes, such as moving to a new city, a break-up or losing a job. These transitions are stressful for everyone, but especially for ISTJs who find it difficult to adapt to changes that challenge their established ways of doing things. 

Advice for lost ISTJs: 

• Try to focus on the aspects of the situation you can control. Although it might not change much in your external reality, this shift in focus can provide a sense of empowerment.
• Develop a new routine as soon as possible and include activities you’re familiar with—this can help you feel grounded amid all the chaos. 

ENFP: Being Unable to Pursue Their Passions

ENFPs can feel lost when they feel constrained by their circumstances and cannot pursue the multitude of projects and ideas that excite and inspire them. If they cannot see a feasible way out of a restrictive lifestyle—for example, because of a demanding job that leaves little room for personal passions—they might feel restless, empty and adrift.

Advice for lost ENFPs: 

• If you're stuck in a situation that stifles your passion, it's time to plan your escape. A sound exit plan, even if it takes time to execute, will bring relief and a sense of direction.
• Make time for activities and projects that truly inspire you. Even if it’s squeezed in around demanding work or family obligations, keeping your passions alive, even in small doses, can help you stay motivated and feel like you're moving forward.

ENTP: Feeling Overwhelmed With Choices

ENTPs may feel lost when they can’t settle on one goal or path because their eclectic and diverse passions and ideas are pulling them in different directions. This can lead them to get stuck in a paralysis-by-analysis, or in short, obsessing over a path or a decision and all the attendant possibilities in your head, without taking action. Ironically, instead of clarifying things, this type of thinking only spawns more rabbit holes and options, leaving an ENTP feeling frustrated and even more lost.

Advice for lost ENTPs: 

• Hit pause on the constant thinking and analysis. Instead, lay out your options and try to sense which one feels right rather than getting bogged down in endless brainstorming. Pick something and give it a shot—even if none of the choices stands out. Sometimes, clarity comes through action rather than thinking. 
• Ask people whose opinions you trust. They might help you weigh through your options and make a wise choice.

ESFP: Lacking Excitement and Stimulation

ESFPs thrive in the moment and may feel lost when faced with situations that require sustained focus and perseverance. They avoid dull, monotonous tasks in favor of fun-filled distractions, which prevents them from making progress. This can leave them feeling directionless, unsure of which path to take because nothing seems to click for them.

Advice for lost ESFPs: 

• You need to find a balance between work and play. The key thing is to avoid long stretches of monotony and boredom. 
• Pay attention to how much routine work you can handle before you feel the urge to get distracted. Once you know your limits, set small, achievable goals throughout the day and plan fun activities to give yourself a breather when routine starts to drag. 

ESTP: Doing What Makes Sense Instead of What They Want

ESTPs are super logical and pragmatic, making decisions based on what makes sense objectively rather than what they actually want deep down. As a result, they may struggle with feeling lost when they push their feelings down so much that their actions no longer align with their true goals and deepest desires. 

Advice for lost ESTPs: 

• Reflect on whether your current actions are in line with your true desires or they are driven purely by pragmatic considerations. Do you really want to work at your job, or are you doing so for financial reasons only? 
• Try journaling to help you uncover the true motives behind your behavior and see where you are betraying yourself for the sake of convenience.

ENFJ: Feeling Useless/Not Being Appreciated

ENFJs are happiest when they’re helping and guiding others, so they may struggle with feeling lost in situations where their efforts don’t seem to make a meaningful impact or when others fail to appreciate their contributions. Feeling useless can really knock them off balance, especially if they have done everything in their power. 

Advice for lost ENFJs: 

• Take a step back and look at things more objectively. Your efforts might not have yielded results yet, or you’re just not being appreciated. Or perhaps you’re applying yourself to a dead-end cause?
• Don't hesitate to communicate your feelings to others—they may not realize the impact their recognition has on you.

ENTJ: Facing an Immovable Obstacle

ENTJs can feel lost when they face an obstacle that impedes progress towards their goal and they don’t know how to overcome it. They rarely see challenges as insurmountable and will tend to persevere where others would have given up long ago. So, encountering a roadblock that won’t budge despite their best efforts can really knock ENTJs off balance. 

Advice for lost ENTJs: 

• Ask for help or advice. While you may see asking for help as a sign of weakness (very ENTJ-ish), it can reveal potential solutions you wouldn’t be able to come up with otherwise.
• Consider adjusting your goal to find a way around the obstacle. Sometimes, a slight pivot in your approach or redefining success can open up new paths forward.

ESFJ: Being Out of Touch With Themselves

ESFJs are very sensitive to social expectations and norms and can feel lost when these expectations clash with their own feelings and aspirations. They may also feel guilty for wanting to pursue their own goals because they fear it might upset others. It's like they bury their true selves to make everyone else happy, but over time, it leaves them feeling more unfulfilled.

Advice for lost ESFJs: 

• Use journaling to understand what truly moves and drives you. What are the things that really light a fire under you, apart from making everyone happy? 
• Don’t be afraid to set boundaries with people. If you explain why certain limits are important for your growth and well-being, they’ll likely understand and respect them.

ESTJ: Failing to Meet Their Own Expectations

ESTJs are perfectionists at heart and can feel lost when they fail to meet the high standards they set for themselves, especially when it comes to their professional responsibilities. When objectives aren’t met with precision, they can start second-guessing themselves. This eats away at their confidence, making it harder to regain a sense of direction.

Advice for lost ESTJs: 

• Take stock of all the factors that prevented you from meeting your high standards. Realizing that it was due to a mix of factors—some beyond your control—can help ease the feeling of self-doubt.
• Remember to take breaks and relax now and then. Doing things you enjoy can help take your mind off things so that you can tackle challenges with renewed energy and focus.