10 High EQ Phrases To Use When You Owe Someone An Apology

Apologizing can be tough. No matter if it's a minor misunderstanding or a major mistake, saying "I'm sorry" in a way that feels sincere requires emotional intelligence (EQ). A high-EQ apology goes beyond admitting fault—it acknowledges the other person's feelings and paves the way for healing and better communication.

When you feel you need to apologize but are stuck on how best to do it, it helps to have some phrases in your back pocket to guide you. Below are 10 emotionally intelligent phrases to use when you owe someone—or even yourself—an apology. Each one comes with an explanation of why it works and examples of when to use it.

1. "I was wrong, and I'm sorry."

This phrase is about as straightforward as it gets. It's powerful because it leaves no room for excuses or justifications. By saying this, you're showing humility, which is integral to rebuilding trust.

Use it when:

• You’ve made a mistake at work, like giving incorrect information in a presentation.
• You've broken a promise to someone, like missing an important event.
• Your words or actions are the root cause of someone's pain.

2. "I understand why you feel [emotion], and I am sorry for causing it."

Acknowledging the other person's emotions shows both Other Awareness and Empathy, two of the five facets of emotional intelligence. It shows that you have actively listened to them, reflected on your own behavior, and are taking responsibility for how your actions have affected them. It works best when paired with a specific emotion, as it shows that you recognize and care about how they feel.

Use it when:

• You've hurt someone's feelings, like making an insensitive comment or ignoring their needs.
• Your actions have caused them frustration or anger, like not following through on a task.
• You've caused them to doubt themselves, like criticizing their decisions or abilities.

3. "I apologize for [specific action/behavior]. It was wrong of me to do/say [specific words]."

This apology is highly specific. It works because it addresses the exact action that caused harm and takes full accountability for it. There's no doubt left in the other person's mind that you understand exactly what you did and why it was wrong. It also allows for a more targeted path towards making things right.

Use it when:

• Your behavior has violated someone's boundaries, like sharing personal information about them.
• You've said something hurtful or offensive, like using a slur or belittling their beliefs.
• Someone is angry at you for  a specific reason, like being late to a meeting.

4. "I appreciate your honesty and feedback. I'll use it to do better in the future."

This phrase is especially useful when someone has called you out on something hurtful or inappropriate that you didn't realize at the time. By thanking them for their feedback and using it as a learning opportunity, you're showing Self-awareness, another facet of EQ. You're confirming that you've grown from the experience and will work to prevent similar mistakes from happening in the future.

Use it when:

• Someone has pointed out a mistake or flaw in your behavior that you weren't aware of.
• A boss has given you constructive criticism about your work or reputation in the office.
• You've unintentionally hurt someone's feelings and they bring it to your attention.

5. "I understand if you need some time/space before forgiving me."

This phrase is the epitome of emotional intelligence because it puts the other person's needs first. By giving them permission to take as much time as they need, you're acknowledging that their healing process may take longer than yours. It also shows respect for their feelings and boundaries.

Use it when:

• You've deeply hurt someone or broken their trust.
• They need time to process their emotions before forgiving you.
• The relationship with this person is important to you, and you are willing to give them whatever they need to

6. "What can I do to make it right?"

Offering a solution communicates that you’re not just sorry—you’re committed to taking action to fix things. It also invites the other person to express their needs, which builds a constructive conversation.

Use it when:

• It's not enough to be sorry, you have to actively make amends.
• You're unsure of what the other person needs to heal or move forward.
• You want to show your willingness to take responsibility for your actions and repair the relationship.

7. "You deserved better from me."

This phrase shifts focus from you feeling bad to them deserving better treatment. It's a humble, empathetic way to take ownership and acknowledge the other person's worth. A phrase like this sets the stage for a deeper discussion about what mutual respect and care look like.

Use it when:

• You've repeatedly let someone down or been unreliable.
• You've taken someone for granted or not shown appreciation for their efforts.
• You want to show that you value the relationship and are committed to making things right.

8. "Thank you for helping me see this from your perspective."

Gratitude is an underappreciated aspect of apologizing. The words "thank you" immediately reframe  the situation  from one of conflict to cooperation. It also expresses that you value the other person's thoughts and feelings, which can help repair any damage done.

Use it when:

• You were stubborn or close-minded about a situation and someone helped you see things differently.
• Your actions have caused them pain or inconvenience, but they were still willing to communicate with you.
• You want to show appreciation for their vulnerability in sharing their perspective with you.

 9. "I'd feel the same way in your situation."

Say this and the other person will immediately know you're on their team. This phrase validates their emotions and shows that you understand how they arrived at them. It's a great way to demonstrate empathy and build trust.

Use it when:

• A project you were responsible for did not meet expectations.
• You made a promise that you couldn't keep.
• You broke someone's trust.

10. "I'm sorry I've been so hard on myself."

We often forget that apologies aren’t just for others—they’re for us too. Saying sorry to yourself is a way to acknowledge and heal from moments where you didn’t treat yourself with kindness and respect.

Use it when:

• You’ve been overly critical of yourself after making a mistake.
• You set a higher standard for yourself than you would for anyone else.
• You lash out at others because you’re disappointed in yourself.

How easy is it for you to apologize? Discover your EQ strengths and how you score on each of the five EQ factors by taking Truity’s Emotional Intelligence test.