8 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Do to Achieve Elite Career Status

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a measurement of a person’s ability to perceive and manage their own emotions, and to recognize, understand and relate to the emotions of others as well. Having a good EQ is essential for effective communication and maintaining healthy relationships of all types.

High EQ is associated with happiness and a feeling of contentment. But beyond the personal benefits, emotional intelligence also produces tangible results in the workplace, as the statistics clearly demonstrate.

Truity’s study found that people with higher levels of emotional intelligence tend to be more successful at work. Among our survey respondents, those who managed more people and those who commanded higher annual earnings generally scored significantly higher in overall emotional intelligence.

As of now about 75% of Fortune 500 companies are using emotional intelligence training tools, to create a more aware and responsive workforce.

But what, precisely, is emotional intelligence? It isn’t just empathy, although that is an important component of EQ. In fact, there are five facets of emotional intelligence:

• Self-Awareness: The ability to recognize and identify one’s own emotional experiences in real time.
• Other Awareness: The ability to perceive and understand the emotions of others, based on a person’s words, vocal tones, facial expressions, body language and the social context.
• Emotional Control: The ability to regulate and manage one’s emotions consistently and effectively.
• Empathy: The ability to relate to the feelings and emotional reactions of others, with responses that are sensitive, caring and sincere.
• Emotional Wellbeing: A measurement of a person’s overall state of psychological, emotional and social wellness.

A person with a high overall EQ will tend to score well in each of these categories, although it’s normal for someone to have greater strengths in some facets over others. 

So what does good EQ look like in the real world? We’ve looked at the behaviors of well-known, well-liked and successful people to identify commonalities in their approach to managing emotions, personalities and interpersonal relationships. Here are 8 things emotionally intelligent people do to achieve elite career status.

1. They are Generous with Praise and Diplomatic with Criticism

Emotionally intelligent people try to be direct and honest to avoid confusion and misunderstanding.  But they never communicate in a way that is hurtful or insensitive, which can alienate potential allies. They take genuine delight in the success of others, and that makes their sincerity when offering praise obvious. 

This approach is grounded in empathy, which many high achievers see as the key to their success. One example is long-time Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson, who said: “Being a good listener, finding empathy, understanding emotions, communicating effectively, treating people well, and bringing out the best is critical to success. It will also help you build a business that really understands people and solves their problems, and it will make for a happier and healthier team, too.”  

2. They Look at Themselves Objectively

A high EQ person is never afraid to look at themselves in the mirror and to be honest about what they see. They know self-improvement is impossible if they can’t acknowledge their mistakes or limitations.

People who score well on an Emotional Intelligence test are highly self-aware, which helps them break free from self-sabotaging patterns. If they realize that their particular way of doing things often leads to negative outcomes, they’re willing to look inside before looking outside for the root cause. They do this objectively, without self-pity or self-blame. They let go of their ego so they can adjust their approach and not keep repeating the same errors over and over again.

3. They Have a Healthy Relationship with Stress

Stress is unavoidable in most careers, especially high-flying ones. But rather than trying to suppress their stress response, the emotionally intelligent person will acknowledge it, and then develop a sustainable strategy for managing it. They accept stress as one of the costs associated with chasing worthwhile goals — but actively work to manage it, rather than letting it manage them. 

As Sheryl Sandberg, former Chief Operating Officer of Meta (Facebook), said, “We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we react. I choose to focus on what I can change and let go of what I can’t.”

4. They Collaborate Without Giving In Too Easily

Emotionally intelligent people know that two, three or four heads are better than one, and they use their social skills to form collaborative relationships. But they never go along just to get along. They won’t rock the boat for the sake of it, but they won’t compromise on their principles or support bad ideas just to avoid conflict either. It’s all about balance.

Holding firm on your principles is a reflection of emotional wellness. This facet of EQ encourages a sense of wholeness, and an understanding that your values must inform your actions. It's protective against people-pleasing behavior that won’t do you, or anyone else, any good in the long run. Apple inventor Steve Jobs had a great quote that sums up the approach of high-EQ people, in their careers and in their lives. "Your time is limited,” he said, “so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

5. They Treat Everyone with Respect

People with high Other Awareness are tuned into the feelings of others. As a consequence, they try to live by the Golden Rule, which means treating everyone as they themselves would like to be treated. Because they are good at reading the room, and responding respectfully, emotionally intelligent people tend to collect allies without making enemies. This can open a lot of doors for career advancement!

One person who understood the importance of treating everyone with respect was the late poet and civil rights activist Maya Angelou. “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel,” she once said. This insight demonstrates deep emotional intelligence and shows why she was admired by almost everyone she encountered throughout her life. 

6. When Results are Disappointing, They Reflect on Their Own Role First

Emotionally intelligent people don’t blame others for their failures. They take responsibility for their mistakes, so they won’t repeat them. Even when things are running smoothly, people with high EQ will still reflect on their own performance, holding themselves accountable for all the things they could have done better. Their high Self-Awareness prevents them from becoming complacent or focusing too much on what other people are doing.

Jocko Willink, a former Navy officer who currently runs a highly successful leadership consulting firm, perfectly summed up why life’s winners (the ones with high EQs) resist the temptation to point fingers in the face of disappointing results: "Blaming others prevents you from growing. When you take ownership, you take control, and only then can you truly improve."

7. They Read Others and Respond Accordingly

Everyone has a different communication style, and high EQ people comprehend this implicitly. They tailor their message and delivery to the personality of the person they’re communicating with, because it's the best way to get their message across without meeting resistance. Emotionally intelligent people aren’t here to argue; they’re here to resolve a debate or a problem, and  they know that the best way to achieve this goal is by finding common ground with others. 

Customizing your approach to communication may not happen naturally for you, but it's a skill that can be learned. That's another behavior you'll notice in people with high EQ—they work on their workplace relationships as assiduously as they work on their technical skills and talents. They know that personal development in all its iterations is an ongoing process. There's always room for improvement, so you can expect to see them consistently trying to better themselves.

8. They Bounce Back From Disappointment

When things don’t go their way, the high EQ person will remain resilient and determined. Their Emotional Control stops them giving in to despair or fatalism, or lashing out in anger when they’re disappointed. People who score well in this facet of EQ tend to see failure as temporary and remain calm when things go wrong. 

Our research shows that high earners and leaders tend to excel in Emotional Control, and most highly successful people will testify to the truth of this sentiment. "Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up," the great inventor Thomas Edison once observed. 

Giving up and giving in when things get tough is a mistake that people with high EQ seldom make. They may tweak their plans if things don’t go as expected, but they never lose sight of what they set out to achieve.