How to Help Coworkers Without Burning Out, According to Your Enneagram

Helping others is a kind and compassionate act that brings joy to both the giver and the receiver. We should all aspire to lend a helping hand whenever we can.

But as the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” If you're helping others to the point where it's draining you, it can lead to burnout—by which point, you won't be able to help anyone, not even yourself.

While this doesn’t mean you should say “no” to helping a stressed coworker out or being a shoulder to cry on for your team, it does mean that you need to strike a healthy balance. Using your Enneagram type as a starting point, let's explore how you can dodge burnout while still being a motivated team player in the workplace. 

Type One: Accept That Mistakes Will Happen

Ones are on a mission to make the world a better place, which is why they go the extra mile to help everyone. You want everyone to do their best work and will quickly step in (or sometimes take over) when you see someone struggling. Problems arise when you’re too much of a perfectionist and end up feeling angry, frustrated or exhausted when you've taken on every problem in the office. 

To strike a balance: Remind yourself that it’s not your job to fix everything and everyone. Learn to accept that mistakes are part of the process, people are doing their best, and things aren’t always going to work out your way—and that’s okay! Instead of trying to control every situation or project, realize that being too hands-on can make you seem suffocating instead of supportive. 

Type Two: Filter Your Feelings 

Everyone knows a Two who’s always ready to drop everything on their plate to help you out. Maybe you’re that generous and warm-hearted person to your co-workers, always intuiting their feelings and needs. But, the problem is that you sometimes struggle to set boundaries to protect your resources, causing you to totally neglect what you need.  

To strike a balance: Get a feeling filter! As an empathetic individual, you might get too involved in what others are feeling, which is draining. So, ask yourself, “Am I feeling stressed/sad/frustrated because my co-worker/boss is feeling that?” This can help you to focus on your emotions instead of taking on everyone else’s and being guilted into doing things you don’t want to do. 

Type Three: Stop Seeking External Validation

As an ambitious Three, you chase success and a part of you craves approval for your skills and accomplishments. Although everyone wants kudos in the workplace, you might try harder than most to help others as a way of gaining their approval. For example, you might use your stellar problem-solving skills to be seen as indispensable in the office, even when it’s not your problem to fix.  

To strike a balance: Focus on what’s most important in your job. Remember that you want to be liked for the right reasons, such as working hard or completing your projects on time, instead of the office equivalent of love bombing others in a desperate attempt to gain their approval. This  can make others perceive you as annoying, not helpful—a backfire you probably didn’t see coming. 

Type Four: Develop a Healthy Work-Life Balance

Fours are ruled by their emotions. In relationships, even professional ones, they can be empathetic and supportive to a fault. Carrying the weight of your co-workers’ stress and feeling like you’re the only one who really cares about them is the straightest path to burnout, however. When all is said and done, you're paid to do a job, not be everyone's therapist. 

To strike a balance: Leave your workplace behind at the end of the day so you can recharge your batteries. Create, relax, socialize, sleep—whatever it takes to refuel, that's what you need to be doing. You probably can't help being the healer at work, but don't let it be a 24/7 calling. 

Type Five: Put Rules in Place for Helping Time

As an intense Five, you have a tendency to push yourself too hard when helping others. You’ll lend your brain to any colleague who needs it, almost always successfully solving their problems for them. Since you don’t focus on—or sometimes even understand—your own limits and restrictions,  you can easily overextend yourself and land in burnout territory before you realize it. 

To strike a balance: Establish specific times during which people can ask for your advice or create rules around how long coworkers can monopolize your time—that will enable you to be the helpful genius you are without feeling like others are stealing from you. You can also get into the habit of taking a break before agreeing to help someone— by the time you finish your break, they may have already sorted out their own problems! 

Type Six: Deal With “Reliability Anxiety” 

Sixes want to feel secure and make others feel secure, too. But when Sixes are in an anxious state, they start to doubt their worth. This can quickly become toxic, making you feel like you’ve got to give more and more of your energy to keep your job and make sure everyone else is going okay as well. Suddenly, you’re working 10-hour days to prove you’re good at your job (which you are!) but also secretly fearing that the moment you slip up, you’ll lose it all.

To strike a balance: Instead of seeing reliability as bending over backwards for others, understand that being reliable also means consistently taking care of yourself. This might mean factoring self-care into your routine, setting boundaries with others so you don’t feel overwhelmed, and learning to trust in your own abilities and worth. Your job is important, but it shouldn't consume you.

Type Seven: Confront Challenges Head On  

Sevens are corporate cheerleaders. With your enthusiasm and upbeat energy, you’re always trying to keep everyone’s morale high. But check that you’re not being helpful for the wrong reasons. Does morale really need boosting, or are you simply trying to distract your coworkers and yourself from the real problem at hand? If you don’t confront your own anxieties, you’ll be hard-pressed to help others with theirs. 

To strike a balance: While it might seem like a good thing to boost everyone’s optimism, it’s better to take people’s concerns and negative opinions on board so you don’t slip into denial. Focus on reality and find solutions to real problems, instead of brushing them off with positivity. It's empowering and less stressful to confront challenges head-on instead of trying to pretend they don’t exist.  

Type Eight: Let Others Take Charge Sometimes 

Eights are always eager to leave their mark in the world. You love being everyone’s champion, and helping those who can’t stand up for themselves is always on your to-do list. But you also like to be in control. This duality can lead you to steamroll over your coworkers’ ideas and processes, even if they’re ultimately better than yours. Are you trying to micromanage people instead of offering genuine assistance?

To strike a balance: Reflect on your motivations for helping those around you. Are you offering support to help them grow and thrive, or are you just trying to get them to do things your way? If it’s the latter, don’t be afraid to delegate and let others take the wheel instead of trying to control everyone and using up all your resources in the process. 

Type Nine: Learn To Say “No”

Nines, it’s great that you’re always handing out olive branches to people and hoping that your work relationships can be filled with peace. The problem is that you put pressure on yourself to be a mediator in your workplace. Not only can this result in you feeling overworked as you end up in the middle of disputes you have no stake in, but it can also make you feel resentful when others don't care about your opinions and needs. 

To strike a balance: Get comfortable with saying “no” to people’s requests. While you dislike not being able to please others, you shouldn’t bottle up your feelings as it will cause you to become resentful or passive aggressive. By explaining what you need and why it’s important for you, you’ll express yourself in a healthier way, prevent people from taking advantage of you, and keep burnout at bay.