Personality Drift: Why You Are Not The Same Person You Were 5 Years Ago

Have you ever found an old journal entry or revisited a personality test and thought to yourself, “Wait, who was that?” It’s a common human experience. It seems that our personalities are evolving in subtle ways that accumulate over time, often imperceptibly. Psychologists refer to this as “personality drift.”

Personality drift is the gradual, sometimes surprising, transformation of your character, habits and preferences over the years, explaining why you might not be the same person you were five, 10 or 20 years ago. New research has begun to unravel how real and complex these changes are, and has overturned earlier beliefs that the human personality is rigidly defined during childhood or by early adulthood.

What is Personality Drift?

Decades of theorists considered personality traits as mostly fixed, at least after the first years of adulthood. But longitudinal studies that follow individuals across decades offer a much more dynamic picture. In the research, scientists make the distinction between changes at the mean level (i.e., how the average levels of traits in large populations change) and individual differences (the individual manner in which the traits of each individual may zigzag or take a special route).

These studies indicate that your Big Five personality traits can shift over time. People become more Agreeable, Conscientious, and emotionally stable (i.e. less Neurotic) with age, but the changes do not happen uniformly or in the same way for everyone. The changes can be permanent, and a wide variety of life events, like a change in profession or becoming a parent, can prompt the shift. Often though, the most meaningful personality changes come from the accumulation of smaller, everyday experiences and how each individual interprets them over time. 

This is what we mean by personality drift—the culmination of many subtle changes that emerge in the way we think, feel and behave as the years go by. Personality drift is not sudden, but a more gradual shift which is not immediately noticeable but only realized in hindsight. Like when you crack open that old journal, or retake a personality test after many years, and receive a new result.

What Causes Personality Drift?

Personality drift is not random. There's a mixture of genetics, environment and life experience at play.

Genetic factors make us more likely to develop certain personality traits, like being open to new ideas (the Big Five trait of Openness to Experience) or emotional sensitivity. These are tendencies we’re born with. 

But the world we live in and everything that happens to us, including the people we meet and the cultures we’re part of, also shape our personalities in powerful ways.​ Significant life transitions such as marriage, divorce, childbirth, change of employment, or dealing with trauma leave traces on our thoughts and patterns of relationships. And the people close to us—family, friends, coworkers—also gently nudge us to adjust our behaviors to fit social and cultural norms. 

Getting older can also evolve our personalities in subtle ways. As we age, most people become more mature and emotionally balanced, but how quickly this happens depends on individual experiences, unexpected events, and sometimes a personal desire to grow. Long-term changes in life can also cause personality to take new turns, perhaps due to mental health problems, stress or medical / hormonal changes.

Personality drift is really nature and nurture converging in slow motion. Over the years, our genetics, environments and experiences combine to gradually transform who we are.

What are the Signs of Personality Drift?

It’s unusual to notice personality drift happening in the moment. More usually, you’ll spot the signs when you pause to reflect on your life. You might notice you’re not as sensitive as you used to be—things that once stressed you out now don’t bother you—or your interests have shifted and you no longer enjoy the same activities as before. Reading old diary entries or essays can be revealing, since old passions, viewpoints or emotional patterns may not match how you currently see things.​

Feedback from friends or family is also helpful. They may comment that you’ve grown more patient, outspoken, introspective or ambitious.  Your romantic preferences and the kind of partner you’re attracted to might change as well. 

Checking in with yourself through self-assessment tools or honest reflection can help you spot changes in your personality across the years.​ Perhaps you were always a strict long-term planner but now live more spontaneously, or your shy side has faded as work responsibilities pushed you to become more outgoing. These are small changes that add up gradually—they aren’t dramatic overnight shifts, but gentle evolutions. And they can be quite interesting to track and analyze over the course of many years.

Is Personality Drift Good or Bad?

Personality drift isn’t really good or bad—it just shows that we’re adaptable. Most of the time, drift means we’re learning and growing. Maybe you’ve become more empathetic after facing hardship yourself, more confident after overcoming obstacles, or you’ve developed quiet resilience from living through traumatic life experiences. These changes can help you see life in fresh ways.​

At the same time, personality drift can feel confusing. You might notice you’re no longer the person you used to be, or that you have less in common with old friends. This is normal and happens to most people as they change and grow.

It is important to understand that drift is exactly that—drift. It involves the rebalancing of existing traits, but not the actual loss of your core personality makeup or your lifelong identity. Even as certain qualities shift over time, the underlying essence of who you are remains steady, providing continuity and a sense of self as you move through life.

Can You Control Your Personality Drift?

As much as drift can be a gradual process, research has established that you can influence its direction. For example, if you want to become more Conscientious, there are some specific strategies you can work through to achieve that (our article How to Become More Conscientious At Work and Beyond has some ideas). Everything starts with self-awareness. Keeping a journal, telling uncomfortable truths, or chatting with an AI personality coach can help you track patterns and changes as they happen. Once you have discovered them, you can build on your strengths and work on the tendencies that you would like to change or grow out of.​

Successful change is hardly ever achieved through sheer willpower. Research indicates that having the desire to be more positive, outgoing or disciplined is not sufficient in itself. Lasting changes are made through small steps, which you have to take over a period of time. Goal setting, practicing new behaviors, finding supportive individuals, and celebrating small wins are all useful in reinforcing the drift you desire. 

Decisions over months and years, both intentional and unintentional, lead to the maturity of your personality. It’s the intentional choices, made consistently, that steer your personality drift in ways that support who you want to become.

Conclusion

Scientific and practical wisdom agree that our personalities are works in progress, revised bit by bit by the unfolding chapters of our lives. Instead of being afraid of these changes, welcome them as opportunities. Understanding personality drift can bring a feeling of compassion to your younger self, and help you make better choices in the next stage of your journey. We humans are incredible in our adaptability—you have power over the thousands of decisions, habits and relationships that slowly shape the person you are in the process of becoming.