Why Is Everyone So Obsessed with Self-Improvement?

Walk into any bookstore in the United States, and you’ll find a huge section dedicated to the art of self-improvement. Titles holding promises of enlightenment, better self-esteem, a happier life and better relationships. Flip through the pages, and the words offer true solace and the notion that you too can have the life you’ve always dreamed of  — almost like a new kind of religion.

“Self-improvement has nearly replaced religion for many people,” says Jason Fierstein, MA, LPC, founder of Phoenix Men's Counseling. He says it’s “because U.S. culture tends to glorify 'do-it-yourself' ethos, individualism and self-actualization."

The numbers speak for themselves. The global self-improvement market is quite literally booming, valued at $45 billion in 2024 and projected to be worth an astonishing $84 billion by 2034. But who’s the driving force behind this all?

While most of us dabble in self-improvement at some time or another, for some of us, it’s a way of life. You might know someone who’s read every self-help book on the shelf and subscribed to every podcast. That person may even be you.

But why are some people drawn to this topic, while others can take or leave it? The answer may lie in your personality.

In this article, we explore the difference between healthy and toxic self-improvement, how the the Big Five personality traits come into play, and strategies you can use to avoid burnout. 

Wait, Is Self-Improvement a Bad Thing?

It could be. Thoughtful self-improvement can do wonders for your self-esteem, your work, even how well you sleep. But if it’s taking away from other aspects of your life, that’s a warning sign. There’s a fine line between a lust for growth and obsession.

“The desire to improve oneself turns into obsession when the process starts to deprive the person of health, rather than enrich him,” explains Dr. Chad Larson, CEO and Founder of Adapt Lab. “I see people who are in love with training all day and night, have a diet, or even counting each moment of their life, but who as a result of this, drag along throughout the day, annoyed and tired, and simply cannot relate to any other human being in a meaningful way.” 

Let’s lay out a few warning signs to help you decide if self-improvement efforts are truly helping:

●     Self-improvement dominates your time and attention and relationships suffer.

●     You set impossible standards and then apply them to family members and partners.

●     You start neglecting your work, health or family responsibilities.

●     You find yourself overspending on courses, coaching or products.

●     You’re dissatisfied and nothing ever feels "good enough."

Check enough boxes, and you could be heading down a dark path. The last thing you want is to fall down the self-improvement rabbit hole and end up isolating those around you or hitting burnout.

Does Personality Have Something To Do With A Self-improvement Obsession?

The Big Five personality model measures how each of us feels, behaves and thinks through the lens of five core personality traits — Openness to Experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism. It’s important to remember that each trait is a spectrum, and we all fall somewhere along the line rather than being completely one way or the other.

However, scoring high on certain traits may make you more naturally excessive in your efforts at self-improvement. Let’s break down the main culprits:

High Conscientiousness

People who score high on Conscientiousness tend to be driven by sheer force of will. They are incredibly disciplined and goal-oriented, which is great news when it comes to your work ethic and excelling in whatever you choose to do with your life.

However, there’s a dark side to this trait. When achievement is all you focus on, it’s easy to find yourself moving the goal posts every time you tick something off your list. You land one accomplishment, barely pause, and then it’s straight on to chasing the next big thing. Highly Conscientious people can easily lapse into toxic productivity and perfectionism, and they may find that no amount of self-improvement is enough. 

“Perfectionism is like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill, or an endless treadmill,” says Fierstein. “It's never over, never good enough. You must continue pushing yourself to achieve even more, and more, and more. Ultimately, perfectionists are not happy people."

Low Agreeableness and High Extraversion (As Narcissism)

Next up, let’s talk about a particularly potent combination. 

People who score low on Agreeableness are generally more skeptical, independent and straightforward in the way they relate to others. They tend to value their own needs over group harmony, and aren’t afraid to stand their ground, even when those around them have a different opinion.

Low Agreeableness is not an unhealthy or negative trait — in fact, it can be invaluable for making challenging ideas and pushing for change where it’s needed. But when the Low-A  person is a narcissist, things can get complicated.

Narcissism tends to be associated with low Agreeableness and also high Extraversion. As a personality trait (not to be confused with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is a rare and persistent clinical condition involving much more severe behaviors), it’s more common than you might think. Everyone with narcissistic traits possesses some degree of self-focus and a need for admiration, and in extremes they can be extremely entitled, self-centered and manipulative. 

An obsession with self-improvement is rife among narcissists because they equate their value with how others see them — it’s their armor in social situations, if you will. They over-identify with being the ‘best version’ of themselves and can become perfectionist in their effort to always look their best to others. 

Fierstein says that people who “turn self-improvement into their identity” are vulnerable. “It's a dangerous slope when perfectionism becomes your identity, rather than just a habit or practice, because it's not actually you.” He says that “Emotional intelligence is a counterweight to perfectionism,” but of course, a core trait of narcissism is a profound lack of emotional empathy, which makes genuine emotional growth difficult. 

High Neuroticism

People who score high for Neuroticism may battle anxiety, rumination and excessive worrying in their everyday life. Self-improvement is an obvious avenue they can go down to find ways to combat their fears. 

While self-help books can help those with Neurotic tendencies take control of their worried minds, it’s a fine balance. 

If, for instance, they’re motivated to improve themselves because they're worried they’re not good enough, self-improvement may not be effective. Their underlying insecurity can make self-improvement feel like chasing approval or constantly trying to “fix” what’s wrong, rather than a genuine desire to grow or learn. 

High Openness

Call them the experience collectors — people who have high levels of Openness want to try anything and everything, which naturally includes self-improvement. Every new approach, philosophy and method is likely to be novel and exciting to them. Combine this with a splash of intellectual curiosity, and you’ve got a recipe for a serial self-improver. 

However, if highly Open individuals don’t integrate their learnings, they could fall victim to constantly seeking the next best thing, and never diving deep enough into one approach. Over time, this can leave them feeling restless or unsatisfied, since the thrill of discovery overshadows the benefits of building long-term habits and seeing progress through.

Strategies for Healthy Growth

Let’s say you’ve looked out for red flags, and you’re in the clear. But you want to make sure it stays that way! How can you make sure you’re staying on the healthy side of self-improvement and not slipping into perfectionistic overdrive? As a bonus, our experts shared three sound strategies you can try for yourself:

Focus on sustainable progress

If you’re hoping for overnight results, you’re setting yourself up for failure. As with everything, self-improvement should be approached slowly and sustainably. That means emphasizing quality over quantity, especially when you’re adopting new habits or lifestyle approaches.

“Growth is not quantified in terms of the amount that you can put in addition to a routine but the degree to which you can keep a steady pace as you go,” says Larson. “It is more beneficial to have the same value of rest, connection and recovery. Allowing time to take a regular meal, sleep and relationships with a goal systematized enables progress without exhaustion.”

Improve your self-awareness

Check in with yourself every now and then. Journal, work with a therapist, or delve into other ways to self-reflect and better understand yourself. "You need to know yourself, do your own work,” says Fierstein. “Develop self-awareness to gain a clear idea about what is personal growth and what is self-improvement."

Accept yourself, just as you are

Is your self-improvement journey masking inner self-loathing? Be honest. And if you don't like the answer, you may need to do some work on accepting yourself as you are right now. That means not focusing on the person who you will become, but focusing on who you are. “We live in a culture that really responds to performance and achievement,” says Fierstein. “There is a lot of value in learning how to accept the other side of yourself, which is about simply being present and available to yourself.”

So if you’re determined to grow, start by making sure you’re treating yourself kindly. Self improvement shouldn’t take over your life entirely, or mask your insecurities. The best kind of growth happens when you allow yourself space to just be, right where you are.