Watch and Learn: How to Observe the Big Five Personality Traits in Other People
Have you ever wondered what your spouse’s personality type is? Or your best friend? Or your boss? Knowing someone’s score on the Big Five Personality test can be a helpful way to get to know someone better. It can transform how you connect with them, motivate them and adapt your response to them when they need your support.
While you will never know someone’s exact Big Five scores (unless they share their test results), you can uncover their general tendencies simply by paying attention. Their behavior, hobbies and even their home décor choices can all offer valuable clues.
What is the Big Five?
The Big Five is a model developed by psychologists to measure personality according to five key traits: Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Openness and Neuroticism. These traits exist on a scale. This means that when someone takes a Big Five test, they receive a percentage measure of their Extraversion, Conscientiousness, etc, rather than being labelled as an “Extravert” as they might in a type-based personality system such as Myers-Briggs.
Why Should You Learn the Big Five in Other People?
Knowing other people’s Big Five traits can help you improve your relationships in several ways, including:
1. Finding common ground
Understanding someone’s traits can help you learn the preferences and activities you share, which can build stronger connections between you. For example, if you’re both Open people, you probably will enjoy trying new things together. Someone less Open might prefer activities that feel familiar to them.
2. Predicting their responses
If you know someone’s Big Five traits, you can anticipate how they might react in different situations. For example, your Introverted boyfriend might prefer a cosy night in instead of a party with friends.
3. Managing conflict
When you recognize the different ways other people behave, react, think and feel, you can find solutions to problems that work for everyone. For example, someone who is Neurotic may find it harder to stay calm under pressure, so you can support them by removing high-stress situations or managing conflict in a low-key, less confrontational way.
4. Understanding their motivations
The Big Five can give you clues as to why someone behaves in a certain way. For example, a coworker who is high in Conscientiousness will usually plan ahead and organize their time rather than act spontaneously. This can cause friction if their boss values going with the flow, but understanding their preference allows you to find balance and create routines that work for both of you.
How to Spot the Big Five in Others
Now that you know how the Big Five can help you to improve your relationships, let’s take a look at each of the Big Five traits to see how you can identify them in others.
Extraversion
How do they socialize?
People with high Extraversion draw energy from engaging with the outside world, especially people. They love socialising and engaging in stimulating activities, like going to bars and parties. They usually avoid spending time alone and prefer to talk things out. People with low Extraversion (Introverts) draw energy from within. They might attend a busy, noisy social event but these experiences drain their energy, so you may notice them taking lots of bathroom breaks or leaving early! These types prefer small-group activities and are more likely to organize an intimate dinner than a wild party.
What does their home look like?
Your friends and family may not be interior designers, but research shows the way they decorate their home can tell you a lot about their personality. Extraverts often like bold and bright colors and patterns. They also tend to organize their space for socializing, with open concept rooms and lots of places to sit. Introverts are usually homebodies, so they like to turn their home into a personal sanctuary where they can rest and recharge. They may choose soft furnishings, calm colors, clean and tidy spaces and a cosy spot for reading.
What hobbies do they have?
Extraverts and Introverts often differ in their choice of pastimes as well. Since Extraverts enjoy the company of others, they can usually be found playing team sports, joining clubs and attending parties. They may also like travel and group activities like board games, trivia nights and live concerts. Introverts enjoy activities that let them recharge, so they will tend to choose creative hobbies like writing, painting or crafts. They also enjoy reading and learning or watching documentaries. Cooking, gardening and knitting are also enjoyable for many Introverts.
Openness to Experience
How do they approach new experiences?
People who score high on Openness are more likely to be politically liberal and open to diversity. They approach concepts and experiences with interest and curiosity, so if you notice someone eagerly exploring new ideas, trying unfamiliar foods, or seeking out creative activities, they’re likely high in Openness. People who are low in Openness prefer tradition and things that are familiar. They are uncomfortable with change so you might notice them sticking to routines, choosing the same foods or activities, and showing reluctance to try new things.
What does their home look like?
An Open individual may switch up their décor often, display unique art, fill their space with books or creative objects, and incorporate items collected from travel or diverse experiences. They are more likely to choose fresh and modern styles such as industrial designs or eclectic decor to reflect their travels and interests. A less Open individual may have a more traditional home or feel comfortable leaving their décor as it is without feeling the need to change.
What hobbies do they have?
Open people often enjoy activities like painting, writing, traveling, visiting museums, trying new cuisines or engaging in philosophical discussions. These hobbies reflect their desire for novelty and variety. In contrast, people low in Openness prefer more familiar and routine activities. Their hobbies might include traditional pastimes such as gardening, watching familiar TV shows or sticking to well-known hobbies that provide comfort and predictability.
Conscientiousness
How do they approach routines and deadlines?
Conscientious people are organized, diligent and able to postpone immediate gratification to reach their goals. They are the ones who plan ahead, arrive on time, keep their environments organized and reliably follow through on commitments. You might notice them making lists for grocery shopping, setting reminders for appointments and rarely canceling plans at the last minute. Low-C people are less inclined to make plans. You might notice they leave tasks unfinished, change plans spontaneously, and play fast-and-loose with deadlines.
What does their home look like?
The home of a Conscientious person is likely to be clean, tidy, orderly and organized. They probably have their books neatly arranged and everything put away. Someone who is less Conscientious is less concerned about tidiness and will make enjoyment more of a priority, so their home will probably be messier. They may hobby materials lying about and not bother putting anything away so they can come back to it later.
What hobbies do they have?
People high in Conscientiousness often enjoy hobbies that require discipline and structure, such as gardening, cooking with recipes, collecting, or fitness routines like running or yoga. They tend to stick with activities that have clear goals and allow them to track progress over time. Low-C individuals may be more spontaneous or casual in their hobbies, and may switch hobbies often. They often enjoy activities that are flexible and don’t require strict schedules or long-term commitment.
Agreeableness
How do they treat other people?
Agreeable people are usually optimistic, positive, helpful and cooperative. They put other people's needs above their own, for example, by organizing a potluck to ensure everyone’s dietary needs are met. Low-A people follow the beat of their own drum and stand up for the best decision, even if it hurts people's feelings. They challenge ideas and stop groups descending into groupthink. If a coworker raises their hand in a meeting and says, “I know most of you like this proposal, but I have to be honest—I think it’s a mistake,” they probably are low in Agreeableness.
What does their home look like?
Someone with an Agreeable personality will tend to have a home that is cheerful, clean, organized and inviting. They like to live in a way that makes other people feel welcome and comfortable. Someone with a less Agreeable personality will decorate according to their own taste and preference, rather than attempt to make others feel at home.
What hobbies do they have?
Agreeable individuals tend to enjoy hobbies that help others, such as volunteering, hosting a book club or planning community events. It’s important to them that everyone is happy. Someone who is less Agreeable may find fulfillment in hobbies that allow for independent pursuits and strategic planning, such as competitive sports or games, independent creative activities like writing or music, or business hobbies like stock trading.
Neuroticism
How do they experience emotions?
Neurotic individuals experience a wide range of negative emotions in response to stress, including anger, anxiety, fear, depression, guilt, and loneliness. They tend to find the world threatening and stressful, and react emotionally, often blaming themselves and worrying. If you notice a coworker double-checking their work repeatedly or seeking reassurance from colleagues about even minor decisions, they may score high on this trait. By contrast, people low in Neuroticism tend to stay calm under pressure, shrug off setbacks and rarely dwell on mistakes or negative feedback. They’re the calm voice in your friend group.
What does their home look like?
Studies have shown that people who score high in Neuroticism tend to be messier and do not clean their homes as frequently as others. Ironically, this adds to their anxiety levels. This same study found highly Neurotic people also tend to get distracted by TV shows, family and social media while they tidy up so they struggle to stay on top of a cleaning routine. People who score low in Neuroticism tend to be more diligent about tidying their homes and are less easily distracted. They don’t become as stressed by the process of cleaning or the prospect of friends and family coming to visit.
What hobbies do they have?
Neurotic individuals often enjoy soothing, solitary activities that calm their nerves. These may include running, gardening, meditating or joining a support group where they can talk to others who feel the same way. People who are low on this trait are calmer and more resilient. Hobbies such as hiking, camping and group sports, which may be too unpredictable for a high-N person, are often embraced by those low in Neuroticism, who handle twists and turns without feeling overwhelmed.
Final Thoughts
When you understand how the Big Five traits manifest in other people, you can unlock the secrets behind their often mysterious behavior and improve your communication and interactions with them. If you’d like to know your own Big Five Personality Traits, take the test here, or share it with others so you can discuss it together and gain further insight into what makes you, and them, unique.
