6 Bad Habits You Need to Break (And How EQ Can Fix Them)

Everyone wrestles with stubborn habits that refuse to budge, and it’s not just a matter of weak willpower. Researchers at Duke University have shown that habits carve deep grooves into the brain, making them notoriously resistant to change. 

But there’s a powerful tool that can help disrupt these deeply rooted patterns: emotional intelligence. Six of the most persistent bad habits trace back to emotional patterns that often operate under the radar. By understanding what drives those automatic behaviors, it becomes possible to break their grip and reclaim control. 

1. You Talk Over Others   

Having ideas and wanting to share them is a positive and potentially career-enhancing trait. Who doesn’t want to work with someone who is engaged and invested? But, jumping into a conversation when someone else is talking can make you seem inconsiderate or oblivious to the vibe in the room. From an EQ perspective, it signals a lack of social awareness, which allows you to gauge what others are feeling and adjust your responses accordingly, and emotional control, the EQ facet that helps you contain your emotions and impulses so you can choose the right moment to speak. 

How to fix it with EQ: 

• Watch for social cues. Watch for signs of impatience like eye-rolling, sighing or people glancing away. These usually mean they’re losing patience with your interruptions and it’s time to let others speak.
• Question your impulse. Pause and ask yourself why you want to jump in. Is it about wanting to add value, gain attention, or maybe FOMO because Mike from Accounts is about to make the joke you wanted to share? Boost your self-awareness by getting curious about these patterns. From there, you can make a more intentional choice, which may be a decision to stay quiet for now and follow up later one-on-one.

2. You Say “Yes” to Everything  

Saying “yes” to every project might make you feel capable and helpful, but biting off more than you can chew can quickly lead to anxiety, stress or burnout. Often, this automatic “yes” response happens without real self-awareness about why you’re agreeing, which makes it tough to separate when you’re genuinely being of value from when you’re simply stretching yourself too thin.

How to fix it with EQ: 

• Ask yourself, ‘Is saying “yes” healthy?’ The next time you feel the urge to say “yes,” pause and consider what’s driving that response. Are you worried about disappointing others, or investing your time where you’ll get the best returns? Building self-awareness here gives you space to decide if saying “yes” is truly in your best interest. If it means overextending yourself or neglecting your wellbeing, it’s time to make it a “no.”
• Set boundaries. Practice setting polite but firm boundaries so you can honor your own needs, not just others’. For example, if you’re already at full capacity and your boss hands you another project, you might say, “I’m at full capacity right now, but could we revisit this next week?” A response like this still considers the needs of others—just not at the expense of your own.

3. You Chase External Rewards 

If your main focus is on things like success, popularity or money, it’s easy to fall into the habit of chasing what others value, rather than what’s meaningful to you. This pattern often signals a lack of self-awareness, and it can damage your sense of well-being in the long run. When you’re not clear on your own values or goals, you might find yourself saying “yes” to things that look good on the outside but don’t actually fulfill you.

How to fix it with EQ: 

• Question your goals: Take a moment to ask yourself why you want to achieve something. Does it genuinely matter to you, or are you seeking approval or recognition? 
• Spot validation traps: Notice when you’re tempted by rewards like titles, praise or money. Before saying yes to opportunities that deliver (only) these things, check if it aligns with your values and needs. A helpful question to ask: “Would I still want this if no one noticed?” This can keep you focused on what brings real satisfaction, rather than just chasing what others admire.

4. You Compare Yourself to Others

It’s easy to slip into the habit of measuring your progress against everyone else’s highlight reel. The occasional bout of comparisonitis may be harmless, but constantly thinking, “Everyone else is better than me” can chip away at your confidence and leave you feeling inadequate. Often, it’s a sign that your self-regulation and empathy skills could use some attention. 

How to fix it with EQ: 

• Challenge your self-talk: Comparisons often fuel a stream of negative self-talk, and the best way out of this is to reframe these thoughts firmly back on your own life. Instead of letting your mind spiral with, “I’ll never be as successful as that person,” try a more balanced perspective: “I’m making progress at my own pace, and that’s enough.” 

• Boost your empathetic response. When you notice envy creeping in, practice congratulating others on their achievements. Better still, look for something you can learn from their experience. Use comparison as a way to learn and grow, rather than letting emotions like envy or self-doubt take over.

5. You Tap Out During Conflict 

When conflict arises, your instinct might be to shut down and stop communicating. You may think you’re keeping the peace, but avoiding the conversation often leaves issues unresolved and can lead to bigger problems down the line. This pattern usually points to difficulties with EQ across the board: you’re not confident to express your own needs, over-empathize with others’ and, in the moment, you just don’t know how to respond in a way that feels constructive or safe.

How to fix it with EQ: 

• Take a break: Start by noticing the emotional and physical signs that you’re about to shut down, like a racing heart or the urge to walk away. When you catch these signals, let your partner know you’re feeling overwhelmed and explain what you need, such as a few minutes to collect your thoughts.
• Practice self-soothing: Learning to self-soothe helps you stay present with your emotions instead of running from them. Try grounding techniques, like taking slow, deep breaths or focusing on your senses, to help you stay calm during tense moments.

6. You Share Too Much, Too Soon

Sharing personal stories can help build trust and connection, but there’s a time and place for everything. Revealing details about your relationship troubles or latest health scare might feel natural with close friends, but would be totally inappropriate in the workplace or with people you don’t know. Oversharing often signals gaps in self-awareness (not noticing what’s appropriate to share and with whom) and social skills (reading the room and adapting your communication).

How to fix it with EQ: 

• Share with intention: Pause and ask yourself why you want to share this particular piece of information, and why now. Will it build trust and closeness with someone who’s ready to receive it, or could it make the conversation uncomfortable or shift the focus onto you when it should really be on someone else or the topic at hand? When you’re more intentional about your sharing, you’re more likely to contribute what’s relevant and appropriate, avoiding TMI territory. 
• Practice active listening: Shift your focus from talking about yourself to truly listening to others. Make space for their stories and feelings, so they feel heard and valued. By listening more, you’ll naturally regulate the urge to overshare and keep conversations balanced and respectful.