How to Observe the Big Five Personality Traits in Children

You may be familiar with the Big Five Personality traits in yourself, but have you ever wondered if they are the same for your children? Some aspects of our personalities develop as we grow older, so it may be that children start life showing the beginnings of some personality preferences that later evolve into their adult personality. 

But when do these traits emerge? How reliable are our observations of personality in children? And to what extent do parents influence their child’s personality? Read on to find out.

Do the Big Five Traits Exist in Children?

The Big Five is the most widely accepted personality theory in the scientific community, used to predict a range of outcomes from career success to how happy you are in relationships. It describes personality across five dimensions: Extraversion, Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, Neuroticism and Openness. 

Unlike other popular personality systems such as Myers and Briggs, the Big Five does not give you a type label or place you into a box. Each of the five traits exists on a spectrum, ranging from low to high, with most people landing somewhere in the middle. A reputable test (like Truity’s free Big Five test) will show your percentage of traits across each of the five dimensions. 

While the Big Five was developed to describe and measure personality types in adults, researchers have suggested the temperaments of children and adolescents fit into a similar framework. Four of the Big Five traits – Extraversion, Neuroticism, Conscientiousness and Agreeableness – can be seen in both children and adults.

As for the fifth trait, Openness, some studies have found that this trait is not a fundamental part of children’s personalities. Instead, Openness may only emerge as children develop their social and cognitive skills, and thus shows up later in life.

How Do the Big Five Traits Show Themselves in Kids?

Parents and teachers perform most of the evaluations of a child’s personality by witnessing their behavior in the classroom and at home on a daily basis. For example, a teacher might describe a child as outgoing, reward-seeking and sociable. As an adult, that child likely will score high on the Big Five trait of Extraversion. Or they may identify a Conscientiousness child as organized, responsible and focused in their work. Here are a few more examples of how the Big Five traits manifest in children:

1. Extraversion

Extraversion describes a person’s preference for seeking external stimulation such as social interactions, attention and rewards. Children high in Extraversion are talkative, have a high activity level and have a preference for socializing. You might notice the following behaviors in a high-E child: 

• Starts conversations with peers and adults, for example, asking other children if they would like to play.
• Readily joins new groups or activities without hesitation, displaying little fear of unfamiliar situations or people.
• Interrupts or talks over others in conversation, eager to share their thoughts or ideas.
• Shows high energy levels, often engaging in physically active play, running, jumping, or moving from one activity to another with enthusiasm.
• Considers most people as “friends”, even children they have just met.

• Feels energized and happier after participating in group activities, and may complain of being bored or unhappy when alone.

Introverts (those lower in Extraversion in the language of the Big Five) get their energy from spending time alone, and children are no different. Children who score low on Extraversion will prefer solo activities like reading, writing and drawing, and prefer one-on-one conversations to group discussions. They may become tired or withdrawn after busy social events, and you may notice them hanging back and observing new situations before they feel comfortable to join in. 

2. Agreeableness

Agreeableness is how much a person prioritizes the needs of others over their own needs. Like Agreeable adults, Agreeable children are cooperative, kind, empathetic, friendly and considerate. They have good relationships and are willing to share and help others. For example, Agreeable children might:

• Happily share toys with their siblings or trade snacks with friends at school.
• Comfort peers who are upset, for example by offering a hug or kind words when someone is crying.
• Use polite language (“please,” “thank you,” “sorry”) and follow social rules in group settings.
• Cooperate easily in group activities, willingly taking turns and accepting group decisions.
• Respond positively to requests for help from classmates or teachers.

Children who are lower in Agreeableness may put their own needs and wishes ahead of the group. You may notice them standing up for their own ideas and preferences, saying what they think even if it isn’t polite, and questioning rules or instructions instead of simply following them. Low-A children may be motivated to excel in games and activities. Depending on their age and maturity, they may get visibly upset if they don’t win.

3. Conscientiousness

Conscientiousness describes a person’s level of persistence and goal orientation. Children high in Conscientiousness are organized, responsible, reliable and focused. They usually do well in school, get their homework done without being told, and are happy to follow the rules. You may notice them:

• Keeping their belongings, school supplies and room tidy.
• Following routines and schedules reliably, such as completing homework at the same time each day.
• Starting chores or assignments without needing repeated reminders from adults.
• Persisting with tasks even when they find them difficult or boring.
• Setting personal goals, such as aiming for a certain grade or saving up for something.
• Demonstrating self-control, such as waiting their turn patiently or resisting the urge to interrupt.

A child who scores low in Conscientiousness is more flexible and spontaneous. You may observe them switching between activities or tasks when something more interesting comes up, resisting strict routines and bedtime schedules, and being quite comfortable with mess! The low-C child approaches tasks in their own way, often finding unconventional solutions. For instance, they might use toys in non-typical ways or use trial-and-error with a jigsaw puzzle rather than colour- or shape-sorting each piece. 

4. Neuroticism

People who score high in Neuroticism experience negative emotions like anxiety, worry and sadness in response to stress. In children, this means they can be easily overwhelmed by small challenges, and may cry often at school and at home.The high-N child may:

• Get upset when they lose a game or are corrected by an adult.
• Worry about upcoming events, changes in routine, or how others perceive them.
• Cry, withdraw or become frustrated when faced with challenges or unfamiliar situation.
• Shows signs of anxiety, such as clinging to caregivers or avoiding new activities.
• Be self-conscious, sometimes avoiding participation for fear of embarrassment or making mistakes.
• Be sensitive to criticism or teasing, sometimes interpreting neutral comments as negative.
• Have difficulty calming down after being upset.

Low Neuroticism gives people a positive outlook on life and healthy self-esteem. Children who are low-N tend to be calm, even-tempered and less prone to feeling upset or anxious in response to challenging events. They tend to be happy most of the time and face challenges, such as a new school, with optimism. 

5. Openness to Experience

Openness describes how open someone is to new ideas and experiences. People with high scores on this trait are curious, imaginative and are willing to try new things. However, nearly all young children are naturally curious, imaginative and eager to explore; that’s part of being a child. They need more life experience before this trait can emerge as part of their personality, so you cannot observe it until the child is much older.

Children who score low in Openness tend to prefer familiarity and routine over new experiences. They might choose the same story or game over and over again, and be cautious about unfamiliar experiences. But again, this could simply be part of a child’s natural desire for security and not a reliable indicator of how Open they will be as an adult.

When Do the Big Five Traits Develop?

The picture is complex. Most researchers believe the Big Five traits remain substantially the same across a person’s lifetime, which suggests the kernels of behavior you observe in your child now will become a clear trait preference as they get older. However, other research indicates that personality traits develop as individuals grow up and mature. Agreeableness and Conscientiousness typically increase from early adulthood, and Neuroticism levels decrease as we age.

Some research has found that, during early adolescence, Agreeableness and Conscientiousness temporarily move in the opposite direction, while Neuroticism increases. This could explain stereotypical teenage behavior such as anxiety over friendships and romantic relationships, a tendency to be argumentative, and difficulty maintaining good grades at school. To anyone living with teenagers, this will come as no surprise! 

In a way, as teenage brains and social skills develop, they become less mature before growing in maturity again as they reach adulthood. It is not clear why this happens – it could be a result of hormonal fluctuations brought on by puberty, the stress of new schools, social pressure, or something else. We do know that stressful life events, such as having a baby, decrease Conscientiousness and Agreeableness and increase Neuroticism in adults, so perhaps the uniquely stressful experience of adolescence is playing a part.

Can You Influence Your Kids' Personalities?

While your children’s personalities may seem to be set in stone, parents can affect how their kids express and manage their personality traits. The way you interact with your children, your parenting style and the environment they grow up in can all shape your children’s behavior and attitude. Teachers, siblings and friends can also affect a child’s personality as they grow up.

A recent study explored how parents’ personalities can shape the lives of their children and found that parent personalities have a significant impact on a child’s life, even after taking the child’s personality into account. The researchers found: 

• Kids with Extraverted parents tended to have lower grades. According to the researchers, Extraverted parents may be encouraging their kids to socialize instead of study. 
• Children with Neurotic parents scored low on grades, overall health, body mass index (BMI) and time spent on leisure activities.
• Kids with parents who scored high on measures of Agreeableness or Conscientiousness were healthier. 
• Children were more likely to stay active with hobbies if their parents scored high in Openness.

You can’t change a child’s innate temperament, but you can help them learn to manage their emotions and how they respond to different situations. Children learn how to behave appropriately by modelling their parents’ actions, attitudes and values, so you can be the change you want to see in your children. Nurture and nature both play a role in a child’s developing personality.

Final Thoughts 

Children are generally born with a set of Big Five characteristics, but they develop and evolve as they grow, and many factors shape how that happens. Your children may be just like you or completely different. But, by setting a good example and offering love and support, you can help your child grow into the best possible version of themselves.