Are High EQ and Mindfulness Two Sides of the Same Coin?

Can you have true emotional intelligence without being mindful?

Can you be mindful without having high emotional intelligence?

At first glance, these two concepts may seem like completely separate entities — how could empathy possibly influence your ability to stay fully present and engaged in the current moment, as a mindfulness practice requires?

But upon closer examination, it becomes clear that the two skills are more closely related than one might think. Auto mechanics are often able to fix washing machines, without ever having worked on one before, because the skills they use in their day job transfer over. It's the same with EQ and mindfulness — having strong emotional intelligence can greatly support your ability to practice mindfulness, and vice versa.

Flipping this around, if you're struggling with mindfulness because it doesn't work for your personality — a common experience for Intuitives generally, and Intuitive-Judging types in particular, though other personality types can also experience this — then improving your underdeveloped facets of EQ could make a significant difference.

To give this context, let's look at the signs of a highly mindful person and see where they overlap with EQ.

4 Signs of a Highly Mindful Person

#1: They are fully present in the moment.

Being present in the moment is a key element of mindfulness. It means being able to focus your attention on what's happening right now, rather than getting lost in thoughts about the past or future — hence why future-focused Intuitives can struggle with mindfulness. Living outside your thoughts and in the real-world is critical for mindfulness. You have to see the blue of the sky, smell the baking cookies,  feel the sun on your skin to find comfort in those everyday glimmers. Energy goes where attention flows: if you're not able to sit with your own thoughts and feelings, then how can you be mindful of them?

Overlap with EQ: Being focused on the moment requires a good level of self awareness. This facet of EQ means being able to recognize and identify your own emotions, motivations and reactions. Is it anger you're feeling, or frustration? Is that coming from a place of hurt, or fear? When you're fully present in the moment, you have more capacity to tune into your own internal experience and understand it. And the other way round, when you can clearly name and identify your emotions, you're more likely to be able to let them go and stay in the moment rather than getting swept away by them.

#2: They are non-judgmental.

Mindfulness is about accepting things as they are, without judgment. It's a practice of being open and curious about whatever arises in your mind and environment, instead of labeling it as good or bad. Since they're not quick to judge, mindful people tend to be more understanding and compassionate towards others. For instance, if someone is having a rough day and they take it out on you, a mindful person is less likely to get offended and instead will try to understand where the other person is coming from. They can detach from the hurtful words and come at the situation with a level head.

Overlap with EQ: Almost by definition, the act of being non-judgmental requires you to consider the perspectives and experiences of others. This skill has at its core a high level of other awareness, which is the ability to recognize the emotions of others, and a high level of empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. You can put yourself in someone else's shoes and show compassion for their experiences, because you get where they're coming from.

On the flip side, when a person with high other awareness and empathy starts a mindfulness practice, they tend to benefit quickly from the inner focus. Mindfulness techniques like non-judging and non-reactivity create a healthy emotional distance from the intense emotions of others, preventing empathy fatigue. Highly Sensitive Persons and Empaths might especially benefit from the emotional balance that a mindfulness practice can bring.

#3: They are disciplined and deliberate in their actions.

A mindfulness practice may only take a few minutes out of your day, but it still requires consistent effort and discipline. In order to effectively train your mind to be mindful, you have to stick with it and not let yourself get easily distracted or discouraged. There's a focus on deciding rather than just responding, which is what makes the mindful person less reactive and better at managing stress.

Overlap with EQ: Emotional control is a crucial aspect of emotional intelligence. It involves being able to regulate your own emotions and respond in ways that serve your goals rather than just impulsively reacting in ways that could harm your relationships and goals. The discipline and intentionality involved in a mindfulness practice can greatly support this facet of EQ and vice versa — people with high emotional control can pull themselves into a state of mindfulness more easily than someone who is knee-jerking from reaction to reaction.

#4: They have a growth mindset.

Mindful people tend to have a growth mindset. They're open to new experiences and perspectives, and they trust they can adapt and grow from them. They look at tough situations in life with a sense of neutrality, knowing when to be optimistic and when a more cautious approach is needed. When the outlook is gloomy, they don't lose sight of the bigger picture; when the situation looks good, they remember to stay grounded.

Overlap with EQ: The whole purpose of mindfulness is to create an overall wellbeing state, detaching from unnecessary worries and leading to a more balanced and peaceful life. In EQ, this is called emotional wellbeing, the ability to maintain a healthy emotional state, even when facing challenges. Coming at this from the other end, when you have robust emotional wellbeing, it's much easier to stay open and curious in the face of challenges. You're less likely to get overwhelmed by negative emotions, and you're able to maintain a positive outlook and growth mindset even in difficult situations.

What's Next?

If mindfulness is challenging for you, or even if it isn't, taking the next step in your emotional intelligence journey can be enlightening. Improving your EQ skills can help you do all of the following, which — by no coincidence — are also benefits of mindfulness:

• Better manage stress and regulate emotions.
• Get a clearer perception of emotional states.
• Understand the root cause of those states.
• Gain better control over their emotions.
• Increase their moment-to-moment awareness.
• Interact with others with compassion and understanding.
• Separate triggers and responses.
• Put things into perspective.
• Adapt to change and handle stress more effectively.

If you're not sure where you stand with your EQ, taking an EQ test is a good place to start. This article has tips to help raise your emotional intelligence from your baseline, and this article can help you learn mindfulness when it doesn't come naturally to you. 

Living in the world attentively, with compassion for yourself and others, is the mark of a person who is growing in emotional intelligence and mindfulness. Two concepts, two practices, with synergies that can help you lead a balanced life.