The Dangerous Rise of “Therapy Speak” — and Why It’s Not Always Helpful

The human experience is difficult to define. Since the dawn of civilization, we’ve searched for the right words to describe its many peaks and troughs. Language is the way that we seek to better understand ourselves, our experiences, and those around us. When used effectively, language has the power to connect us, allowing us to deeply empathize with one another.

But there could be a dark side to the popularization of certain terms, especially those associated with mental health. 

Sure, the rise in “therapy speak” has allowed many to understand their emotional and mental well-being in a new way. That’s great. But what happens when these words are misused? It not only weakens their impact, but can cause real confusion in those who are seeking genuine support and understanding. Maybe you’re not triggered, depressed or dysregulated at all.

What is “Therapy Speak”?

Chances are, some “therapy speak” has already infiltrated your everyday lexicon. Let’s say you have a difficult relationship with your mother, you might call her a narcissist. When something makes you feel bad, you may claim to be triggered. Or if you’re feeling out of sorts and your emotions are up and down, you might think you’re dysregulated. 

You get the picture.

While language changes naturally over time, social media has accelerated this shift. In 2024, the average person consumes 143 minutes of social media content per day. Thanks to the likes of TikTok, Reels and YouTube Shorts, much of this content will be short-and-sweet videos.

Nestled between the lip-syncing and viral dances, there are story-times and rants packed with mental-health-laden language. It’s easy to see the appeal — therapy speak seems to pack all the complexity of human emotions and relationships into neat little boxes so we can understand them better.

“Social media moves so quickly,” explains Dr. Brooke Keels, Chief Clinical Officer at Lighthouse Recovery, Dallas, Texas. “One person could say a new term or phrase and, in a matter of seconds, it can spread like wildfire. If it's relatable and perfectly encapsulates a feeling or experience, it can quickly become an internet sensation and part of our everyday vocabulary. For instance, terms like self-care, triggered, and mental health day have become widely used because we often see and hear them on social media.”

So, Is “Therapy Speak” Good or Bad?

The answer is not a clear-cut yes or no. The cultural shift away from never speaking about mental health to it being integrated into our language can be seen as positive. It’s a sign that we have become more accepting and open about discussing this all-important issue.

“Normalizing these terms and making them a part of everyday conversations can help reduce the stigma surrounding mental health and therapy,” explains Keels. “It can make people curious, aware and more open to seeking help if needed. The more we bring these terms into mainstream conversation, the more we can break down misconceptions about mental health.”

Having the words to describe these feelings can be powerful, but there’s one problem: many of us are not using these words correctly. For example, saying that you’re depressed when you’re feeling a little down is pure hyperbole. Not only is it completely inaccurate, but it takes away the potency of the original word.

“These terms can get thrown around a bit too casually, so they lose their depth and true meaning. There's a big risk of trivializing or oversimplifying serious mental health issues when these terms are used flippantly or as jokes,” continues Keels. “ Overall, while using therapy-related language can foster conversation and awareness, it’s important to remember the weight these words can carry and to always use them thoughtfully.”

Another problem? Therapy speak can come across as very sound-bitey. Do you really want to condense a necessary conversation with a friend about your relationship into a single, 30-second clip?

“Nuance should be accounted for when representing mental health concepts; they shouldn't be reduced to a catchphrase,” says Niloufar Esmaeilpour, an MSc, RCC, SEP from Lotus Therapy & Counselling Centre. “Check valid sources or experts for correct definitions and applications to avoid misapplications. The value in using therapy-centric terms should be borne out in thoughtfully responsible ways with respect for their depth and origin in mental health.”

What Your Favorite Therapy Term Really Means

If you don’t want to leave certain therapy terms in a past life, it’s worth learning what they actually mean so you can use them more appropriately. Fun fact: many of the therapy terms that have become popular are actually psychological or medical terms, the definition of which has become skewed. Let’s take a look at where some of the most popular, i.e. your favorite, come from.

Boundaries

Setting boundaries can be healthy. Unless, of course, you’re weaponizing this term to control those around you. Here’s a quick breakdown of the difference, according to a therapist.

“One classic example of the misuse of terminology particular to therapy is the term boundaries,” explains Esmaeilpour. “Setting boundaries within a therapeutic framework pertains to emotional and psychological self-protection.”

“However, I have also noticed that some people hijack the real essence of setting boundaries just to manipulate or control others for certain behaviors, which really is a distortion,” she continues. “They would say that others have crossed their boundaries when they just want to get away from responsibility or regulate other people's actions for their convenience. This can, in turn, lead to conflict and misunderstanding; for the true intention of healthy boundaries is in the realm of mutual respect and caring for one's self—not a matter of power over another.”

Depressed

Next up, here’s a weighty term that some people use as a synonym for sad. However, it’s important to realize that depression is a serious medical condition.

“The word depressed is also frequently tossed around these days, but it’s still very important to recognize its weight,” says Keels. “Many people use it casually to describe feeling down or sad about a bad day or a tough week.”

“While it’s perfectly normal to feel low sometimes, claiming to be depressed can dilute the seriousness of actual clinical depression, which is a more complex mental health condition that can impact daily life significantly,” she continues.

Dysregulated

Perhaps less common but increasing in popularity, we’ve got dysregulation. You may have heard people using this term when describing feeling overly emotional, a bit lost in life,  or overwhelmed.

"Dysregulated literally means the inability of a person to deal with his or her emotions appropriately; this is symptomatic of many mental health issues but mainly borderline personality disorder,” says Esmaeilpour.

“To casually label oneself or others as being dysregulated belittles the real experience of actual emotional dysregulation and inhibits the process of seeking appropriate help for those really suffering from problems in emotional regulation,” she warns.

Gaslighting

“Gaslighting is major psychological manipulation whereby a person tries to make someone doubt their reality,” says Esmaeilpour. “It is a purposeful, at times even guileful strategy that has far-reaching effects on the mental health of the victim.”

Having a difference of opinion is not the same as gaslighting. Using this term whenever someone disagrees with you is a dangerous game to play. For the sake of your relationships, it’s important to allow others to share their perspective without shutting them down by using pseudo-psychological speech.

Or, as Esmaeilpour puts it, “Slapping this term on every minor disagreement or miscommunication seriously diminishes the actual harm caused by the real gaslighting behaviors.”

Narcissist

“The term narcissist has become a popular way to label someone who seems overly self-involved or full of themselves,” says Keels. “People think this word just perfectly sums up someone with a big ego or who loves themselves too much.”

“But in reality, narcissistic personality disorder is a serious mental health condition that goes beyond just having confidence or pride,” she continues. “There's so much more depth to the term than just someone being vain or self-centered, and using it flippantly can possibly be harmful to the people you call it.”

Triggered

And finally, let’s take a look at a word that took the internet by storm a couple of years back. Saying that you’re triggered when you’re uncomfortable or upset is not entirely accurate.

“Triggered has become a buzzword for anything that causes discomfort or strong emotions. For example, ‘I'm triggered by loud noises,’ or ‘That movie was so triggering,’” says Keels.  “People use it very loosely, but it's most likely because they don't know that this term is actually used to describe a specific psychological response related to trauma,” she continues.

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

Since language is power, we all have a responsibility to use it wisely. Throwing “therapy speak” around carelessly is never a smart move unless, of course, you are a qualified mental health specialist. No one should be taking these words at face value or using them as a “how to” for diagnosing real issues in themselves or their relationships. That’s dangerous, and it can completely undermine the real issues at hand.

Now that you’re clued up on what some of these terms mean, you can change when and how you use them. And if you’re unsure, it’s always best to just stick with plain old everyday language. It may force you to explain yourself more fully, and that’s never a bad thing.