How to Avoid the Stress of New Year's Resolutions, By Enneagram Type

With the holidays behind us and a fresh start ahead, it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of setting New Year’s resolutions. Maybe it’s a whole lifestyle change, a big goal you've been putting off, or just one habit you’re dying to make stick. But, as we all know, that initial surge of enthusiasm can fade pretty fast—just look at how packed the gym is in January—but by March? A lot of us are back on the couch.

The truth is, staying committed to resolutions is tough for everyone, but your Enneagram type can give you a lot of insight into why you struggle and what stressors might get in the way. By tapping into these insights, you can set up resolutions in a way that actually works for you, so they have a fighting chance of lasting well beyond January. So, here’s a look at why New Year’s resolutions are challenging for each Enneagram type—and how to make sticking with them less stressful.

Type 1 – Create a Sliding Goal Scale

Ones often set the bar super high for themselves, and their New Year’s resolutions tend to reflect that. Plus, they have an all-or-nothing mindset when it comes to their goals, so they get discouraged easily if things don’t go exactly as planned. One tiny slip-up can make them think the whole plan is a bust. But instead of making adjustments and scaling back, they might just throw in the towel completely.  

How to Avoid Stress:  Instead of setting super ambitious resolutions like “I’ll go to the gym every day and work out for an hour,” give yourself a bit more flexibility. Set an ideal goal (like hitting the gym every day) and a minimum goal (maybe 3 days a week). Then, commit to doing at least the minimum and hit the ideal goal when you’re feeling extra motivated. This way, you’re still moving toward your goal without stressing yourself out, so you’re more likely to stick with it long-term. 

Type 2 – Block Out Time for “Me” Goals

Twos are all about taking care of others—so much so that it can make focusing on their own resolutions a real challenge. They may set out with every intention to work on something for themselves (for once!), but as soon as a friend, family member or colleague needs help, their plans take a backseat. Before they know it, they’re caught up in helping others again, leaving their own goals hanging. And when their energy is depleted, they’re just too drained to keep going and may give up entirely.

How to Avoid Stress: Block out days and times just to work on your personal resolutions. For example, if you want to read more books this year, set a clear and achievable goal, like finishing one book a month. Choose specific reading days and times that work for you. Treat those reading sessions like a non-negotiable and give your friends and family a heads-up that you'll be busy during those times and when you’re free to help out.

Type 3 – Set Goals That Are 100% Within Your Control

Unlike Ones, who strive to do things perfectly, Threes want to appear perfect in the eyes of others. So, their resolutions tend to revolve around things like getting a promotion, earning accolades or just racking up those likes on social media. They don’t really feel satisfied with their achievements unless others are giving them the thumbs-up. Plus, in the pursuit of others' approval, they often take on more than they can realistically handle, which can stretch them thin—and eventually burn them out.

How to Avoid Stress: Don't tie your resolutions to external benchmarks of success, like promotions and accolades, because the outcome isn't totally in your control. You might push yourself to the max and still not get it! Instead, set resolutions based on things you can actually control. For example, rather than aiming to close an $X million dollar deal, aim to reach out to a certain number of potential clients each month—but make sure it’s something you can consistently handle!

Type 4 – Focus On the Next Step, Not the Whole Journey

Fours can get lost in their fantasies, which means they often set resolutions based on an idealized version of themselves. And because they internalize everything, when reality doesn’t match their expectations, the disappointment and sense of failure hit hard. This can lead them to spiral into feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt—is there any point in trying at all?—and may eventually lead them to give up on their resolutions altogether.

How to Avoid Stress: While it's wonderful to dream big, it's important to ground your aspirations in reality.  Instead of fixating on the ultimate goal—like reaching the summit of a mountain—focus on the next foothold in your climb. For example, if your ambition is to become a professional photographer, rather than aiming immediately for an exhibition (which may be your “summit” goal), set out to have your work featured in a local magazine.

Type 5 – Just Do It

Fives can easily get caught in "analysis paralysis." While they have no problem with setting clear, specific resolutions, they have a hard time getting started. Instead of just jumping in, they’ll spend ages researching, trying to find the perfect method or create a perfect system. But all of that planning usually leads to procrastination, because it feels safer to stay in prep mode than to actually take the plunge and start.

How to Avoid Stress: Balance planning with action. For example, if your goal is to learn a new skill, instead of researching for hours about the best method, commit to a simple first step, like spending just 15 minutes each day practicing—even if you don’t have it all figured out yet. In the spirit of "just do it," embrace the idea that progress comes from doing, not perfecting your plan. 

Type 6 – Visualize Yourself Crushing Goals

Sixes often struggle to stick with their resolutions because they're naturally cautious and have a big problem with self-doubt. So when it comes to goals, they tend to fixate on the obstacles rather than potential rewards. And they can get so bogged down in entertaining worst-case scenarios that they end up sabotaging their success by procrastinating. Another thing is that they rely on others for reassurance, so without that constant support, they can lose motivation very quickly. 

How to Avoid Stress: Use visualization to temper your tendency to doubt yourself and worry about what could go wrong. Try this: every night before you hit the sack, imagine yourself crushing your goal and how amazing that will feel—this can be a great motivator to take action! Also, lean on your support squad. Maybe find an accountability buddy who can help keep you on track and vice versa.

Type 7 – Stick to One Non-Negotiable Goal

Since Sevens are full of energy and optimism, they might set several ambitious resolutions all at once. This eagerness can lead to a flurry of activity at first, but eventually their initial resolve wears off and they lose momentum. On top of that, they’re easily distracted by new opportunities and ideas that catch their attention. So, they might find themselves jumping from one thing to another and never actually finishing what they originally set out to accomplish.

How to Avoid Stress: Instead of scattering yourself across multiple resolutions, pick one or two key goals to focus on and treat them as non-negotiable. Keep in mind that the initial excitement will fade, so set realistic plans you know you can stick with. For example, if you want to pick up a new skill, aim to practice twice a week rather than every day. And if new ideas or opportunities pop up, jot them down for later rather than jumping on it right away.

Type 8 – Check In and Scale Back

Like Sevens, Eights also tend to bite off more than they can chew when setting their New Year resolutions. They often start the New Year strong-willed and determined to achieve many big things. But before long, they can become frustrated and stressed out when they realize they can't maintain their high standards across all of their commitments. But instead of reevaluating and dialing things back, they might just feel defeated and end up giving up on everything. 

How to Avoid Stress: Start by jotting down all your resolutions and then choose the top two or three that matter the most. Focus on what’s going to make the biggest impact rather than spreading yourself too thin trying to tackle everything at once. It's also a good idea to set aside some time each week or every other week to check in with yourself on how you’re doing. If you notice that something isn't working or you’re feeling overwhelmed or burnt out, consider scaling back.

Type 9 – Be Clear On What Needs To Be Achieved and How To Get There

Nines’ biggest problem is they avoid anything that might create conflict—whether inside themselves or with others. Specific, detailed goals feel overwhelming to them because they require consistent effort, assertiveness and changes that disrupt their sense of peace. Because of this, they may set vague, half-hearted and non-committal resolutions. On top of that, they have a hard time prioritizing their goals over the needs of others, so their resolutions can get lost in the shuffle of trying to keep everyone else happy.

How to Avoid Stress: If you want your resolutions to actually stick, the first thing you need to do is get clear on what they are. Vague goals are difficult to stick with because they don’t give you a concrete direction to follow. So, you need to specify exactly how you plan to achieve what you want. For example, instead of saying, “I want to be healthier this year,” frame it as something like “I want to eat at least one serving of vegetables with every meal.”