The Networking Remix: How to Build and Run Networking Events That Work For Every Enneagram Type

Here’s a thought to get us started: despite their good intentions, networking mixers rarely live up to their purpose, or even name. They don’t do much for networking—or for mixing. Let’s talk about why, and how to turn this around.

Build it and they will come

Let’s face it.  We’ve all been there. We go to a conference where we are members of a professional or industry association, and one (or more) of the evenings has a networking mixer event. We don our appropriate attire that best represents our personalities, brand and image, update our electronic business cards and LinkedIn profiles, dig up our outdated paper-stock business cards, and head out with reluctance to see what hors d’oeuvres and libations will make this effort tolerable, and hopefully productive, for us.

Then the clustering begins. 

We see groups of introverts (or perhaps Enneagram Ones, Fours, Fives, Sixes and/or Nines) lining the walls of the event space, speaking with known friends and colleagues, and actively avoiding eye contact with any potential extraverts (perhaps Twos, Threes, Sevens and/or Eights) who might impose on their comfort zone and conversation.  

We bump into and trip over extraverts (perhaps 3, 7s and/or 8s, and maybe other types who lead with the Social instinct and are driven to connect with powerful groups that will further their social standing). These types are running around, pushing business cards and their sales pitch on everyone who crosses their path like a fragrance representative at a shopping mall, hoping their “spray everyone and everything” game plan will result in at least one potential client and have them come out smelling like a rose.

Then the dreaded—and ear-piercing—finger whistle is emitted to gain the attention of the attendees for the requisite welcome, appreciation, agenda topics and business of the day, and maybe even a raffle drawing. 

Side note: there is ALWAYS someone who can do the finger whistle. Usually, they’re in some position of power on the board, so they have the role to justify inflicting this weapon on our ears. It triggers some of us before the event even begins, especially introverts and our Enneagram type 1s (seeking organization and propriety), 4s (craving the opportunity to go deeper with people), 5s (who can get easily overstimulated and feel their energy reserves drain instantaneously), 6s (who may feel alarmed and unsafe by this), and 9s (who are seeking a peaceful, harmonious setting). Anyone who is generally sensitive to loud, shrill, chaotic, environments will suffer, too.  

After losing the raffle, we see our fellow attendees start dwindling down and heading back home, to their hotel rooms, or out to dinner. The business cards they collected are either recycled (OK, I’m being kind and generous here; discarded) or end up in a pile on their dresser until they are recycled/ thrown out later (after pondering, “Who is this and why do I have this card?”). And we may leave feeling disappointed in ourselves that we perhaps did not put ourselves out there in the best way possible and may have even wasted some opportunities to meet people who may have become really meaningful connections.

The formula is ubiquitous … and it’s broken. There has to be a better, more inclusive and more productive way to network.

I’m inviting any and all event planners, professional associations and Chambers of Commerce to experiment with the following, more inclusive considerations:

1. Meaningful, Purpose-Driven Name Badges/ Stickers

What if we went one step further than just providing name badges and asking attendees to write their names on them? Perhaps color-code the name badges (or provide color- or letter-coded sticker dots to add to existing badges) corresponding to different industries, roles and/or disciplines, based on the expected attendees and the purpose of the event.  Then create exercises for people to group together based on their like categories or seek out those in target categories. 

And, allow for people to opt out if they are uncomfortable, so they can initiate a conversation if and when they are ready.

2. Personality and Motivation-Inclusive Agenda and Structure

Our more time-, rule-, and structure-oriented attendees (our Enneagram types 1, 3 and 5) would appreciate some sort of agenda. What if we used a flip chart that states what time the event will start and end, what time is allocated for free-flow general networking, when the announcements will be made, and when the raffle is slated to occur?  

Perhaps keeping it more fluid (as in, “1st hour, 2nd hour …”) may be more appealing to our Enneagram type 7s, who won’t want to feel as constrained. AND it will build in the flexibility the event may need to read the energy of the room and address what the attendees may need.

3. A Structured and Guided Networking Process

What if we then crafted a structured element to the event, where the largest group of people within the same industry or discipline stayed at a specific space/ corner/ area/ zone/ table, and those who wanted to talk to them from other industries could venture over to them? Perhaps this is where the appetizers and drinks are located, to encourage more participation and interaction. Our Self-Preservation sub-type colleagues, who tend to focus on their own well-being first before reaching out to connect with others (think of the metaphor of putting on your own oxygen mask first to then be able to help others), would appreciate this.  

Depending on the size of the groups and number of participants, you could feature a second or third group concurrently, or even in a “speed dating” sequence.  This would definitely appeal to our connection-minded 2s, efficiency-focused 3s, and fun experience-loving 7s, as well as our One-to-One instinct-leading colleagues (who tend to crave deeper and more intense one-on-one interactions). 

Our Social instinct-leading colleagues are probably already satisfied by the very nature of being at a networking event they know how to navigate. So there’s a little bit to keep everyone happy here, and hopefully invite some to step out of their comfort zone, safely.

4. Humane and Adult Notifications

What if, instead of harsh, jarring finger whistles calling people together, we invested in some lovely and soothing chimes—and changes in the lighting—that invited people to focus on a main speaker or transition to another group constellation?  

This would also be helpful for, and more inclusive of, our otherly-abled colleagues.

5. Spotlight Connections That Have Worked

I’ve seen this done really well by the Desert Business Association in Coachella Valley, CA—ask for volunteers from the group to provide success stories and examples of networking within the membership and the positive results that followed. This showcases the value of the group, and may even inspire others to reach out to other members with a request that they hadn’t previously considered (something they hadn’t thought about or didn’t know they needed!). 

This would definitely appeal to our: 

• Enneagram type 1s, who like to see that the system worked.
• Enneagram type 2s, who like to see the connections that were made.
• Enneagram type 3s, who want to know what the results were.
• Enneagram type 4s, who want to see what the meaning was behind the event. 
• Enneagram type 5s, who can collect more data.
• Enneagram type 6s. who feel more connected to this tribe that can keep them safe. 
• Enneagram, type 7s, who can see all the opportunities and fun this creates.
• Enneagram type 8s, who see how they can expand their span of control through this network. 
• Enneagram type 9s, who see the power of collaboration in action and how the system comes together.

Addressing the preparation, structure, logistics and operations of networking mixers in advance, with explicit and intentional consideration of the diverse needs of the participants, will create a meaningful and engaging setting where everyone feels comfortable, included, and is capable of safely pushing themselves out of their comfort zones to achieve the desired result of the event and participants alike. And isn’t that the win-win that we all want?  After all, we are all members of this association for a reason. We want to feel like we belong with our beautiful, diverse tribe that sees, hears and understands us.

Build it with intention and more of us will come, feel comfortable and included, and participate meaningfully.