Do Gen X and Gen Z Even Agree on What Counts as Good Manners Anymore?

Like any new generation coming of age, Gen Z has brought its own unique spin on what’s considered good and bad manners. And while Gen Z isn't all that far ahead of Millennials in terms of digital fluency, when it comes to social etiquette, they’re definitely carving out their own path. 

That’s especially noticeable when you compare them to Gen X, a generation raised on eye contact and proper punctuation. So, let’s break down the major points of etiquette friction between Gen X and Gen Z, and what factors are behind it.

Phone Calls vs. Texting for Communication

For Gen X, phone calls were the gold standard of connection. You picked up the receiver without knowing who was on the other end, and that unpredictability was kind of exciting. However, as the aptly titled WSJ article ‘Don’t You Dare Call Me Without Texting First’ highlights, younger generations—especially Gen Z and Millennials—consider calling without texting first not just inconvenient, but rude and disrespectful. 

Why? According to the article, unsolicited calls cause too much anxiety for those generations. Texting first is like a basic courtesy because it allows the other person to prepare mentally and/or emotionally before engaging. For them, a “Can we talk?” text is like knocking before entering. If someone calls out of the blue, it’s often associated with bad news or emergencies. As one Gen Z interviewee put it, “If I was driving and I got a call from, I don’t know, someone who lives near me maybe, I’d think my apartment was on fire.”

Research backs this up. A YouGov survey found that texting is by far the most preferred way to communicate for 18- to 24-year-olds, with 25- to 34-year-olds close behind. On the other hand, those aged 55 and above are the least likely to prefer texting. 

Similarly, a Uswitch survey found that about 25% of people aged 18–34 never answer phone calls, even from known contacts. Nearly 70% in that age group said they preferred receiving a text to a call, often citing anxiety or lack of control over unexpected calls. The term “telephonophobia” is increasingly used to describe the discomfort many Gen Z feel toward phone calls.

Even when phone calls have to happen, Gen Z tends to approach call etiquette differently from Gen X. For example, YouGov found almost half of 18- to 24-year-olds find late-night or early-morning calls acceptable, while only about one in ten over-55s feel the same. Additionally, 40% of 18-24 year olds see no issue with answering or ending calls without "Hello" or "Goodbye," which contrasts with the more traditional expectations of Gen X.

So yes, communication is experiencing a generational divide, but one that makes sense considering that Gen X grew up without the internet or an endless stream of notifications. Gen Z, on the other hand, grew up in a world where we’re constantly bombarded with digital noise, so they don’t see screening calls as rudeness, but rather as an act of self-preservation.

Formality vs. Personality at Work

On the subject of communication, you might expect good old-fashioned professionalism to still reign supreme in the workplace. But a Barclays LifeSkills survey found nearly three-quarters of people believe workplace language has gotten less formal over the last five years, and 71% credit Gen Z workers for this change. 

Growing up with texting and TikTok, Gen Z naturally leans toward more casual and conversational language. For example, Gen Z tends to sign off their emails with “Thanks!” or “Thanks so much” instead of the more formal “Kind regards” or “Yours sincerely.” Research says that formal email phrases (especially, ‘Yours truly,’ ‘Yours sincerely,’ and ‘To whom it may concern’) may largely disappear from workplace communication within the next decade, although they are viewed by Gen X as signs of respect and professionalism. 

Even the humble out-of-office reply is getting a makeover thanks to Gen Z.  Where Gen X might stick to a neutral “I am on annual leave until…,” a Gen Z worker might write something cheeky like, “Contact literally anyone else but me,” or “Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not me.”

HR professionals appear to be taking this with good humor, seeing it as an extension of how Gen Z socializes online rather than being rude and condescending. However, some communications specialists worry that Gen Z’s relaxed and casual style can feel abrasive to older generations. And of course, workplaces have very different attitudes to informality, so Gen Z has to be careful not to let their casual style cross the line into disrespect.

Emoji as Bad Manners

Even the humble emoji is being read quite differently between the generations. For instance, Gen X sees the thumbs-up emoji as a quick and neutral nod of agreement. But for younger generations, it comes across as sarcastic or even passive-aggressive. Other frequently “cancelled” emojis by Gen Z include 😐, 💩, 😬, and even the classic crying-laughing 😂.

Writing in Psychology Today, language and communication consultant Vyvyan Evans says the shift is due to “semantic satiation.” This happens when a word or symbol gets used so often that its original meaning wears off and it starts to feel insincere or hollow. An example is how the phrase “Have a nice day” became cliché and sarcastic after being overused. 

Another explanation comes from this 2020 study, which found that older generations tend to interpret emojis more literally. For example, they see the 😅 (smiling face with sweat) just as that, rather than the more nuanced nervous laughter meaning younger people assign to it.

Final Words

While the way Gen Z communicates might feel a bit jarring and baffling to Gen X, it’s important to remember that each generation’s way of doing things is defined by the context in which they were growing up – and the etiquette friction points make sense when you consider the different worlds Gen X and Gen Z came of age in. For Gen X, picking up the phone without a heads-up was normal because they weren’t bombarded with never-ending pings, alerts and messages, and there was no technology to tell you who was on the other end of the line. But for Gen Z, who grew up in an era of constant digital noise, texting first is just the necessity for peace of mind. 

As for formality in workplace communication, Gen X grew up in a world of memos and face-to-face exchanges, while Gen Z were growing up with TikTok and Instagram, which naturally favor more casual and conversational language. Emojis are a natural extension of that; for Gen Z they’re a normal part of digital conversation.

Manners, and attitudes around what is socially appropriate behavior, are just one area where our perspectives tend to follow generational trends. But there are outliers – not everyone fits neatly into the mold of their birth cohort. Some Gen Zers might adore handwritten thank-you notes and “Hello, Madison speaking” when someone answers the phone, just as some Gen Xers feel at home with memes and emojis. Many Gen Zers have Gen X parents, so it’s natural for values and habits to blend between these generations. Hopefully, we can all agree that the best etiquette is the kind that leaves both people feeling like the exchange was worth having – though it’s easier said than done when norms shift every few years!

Curious which generation’s values you naturally gravitate toward? Take our fun True Generations test to discover if you’re a Gen Z, Gen X or even a Boomer at heart!