Heart-Shaped Chocolates & Roses? How Each Enneagram Type Really Feels About Classic Valentine’s Gestures

Valentine’s Day comes with a familiar script: candlelit dinners, heart-shaped candies, pink teddy bears, red roses… but not everyone appreciates these gestures the same way. Some adore them, some couldn’t care less, and others find them downright cringey. That mix of reactions isn’t random. It turns out your Enneagram type can reveal a lot about what feels meaningful versus over the top.

Type One: Be Thoughtful or Don’t Bother 

While Type Ones are unlikely to openly complain about classic Valentine’s Day gestures, they will mentally take note if it feels lazy or generic. They’re not easily swayed by the painting-by-numbers romance you’re “supposed” to do on this holiday, and they aren’t big believers in “it’s the thought that counts” when the thought appears minimal. 

That said, Ones can absolutely appreciate traditional gestures when they’re done well. Roses or chocolates paired with a personalized gift or a thoughtfully planned date shows effort and attention to detail. The rule of thumb with Ones, on Valentine’s Day or any celebration for that matter, is to keep it classic but make it yours. Basically, if it feels like you grabbed it last minute, a One will know. 

Type Two: Yes, But Tell Me What It Means

Type Twos tend to genuinely appreciate traditional Valentine’s Day gestures because they’re a sign of care and affection. Even something a bit clichéd or lazy, like a last-minute date or a crumpled box of chocolates, can make them feel loved because at least you did something to show you were thinking of them. They won’t overanalyze the level of effort behind it.

That said, a gift without real feeling behind it can still fall flat for a Two. A store-bought bouquet of flowers hits differently when it comes with a few handwritten words about what they mean to you, or even a heartfelt text that says, “You’ve been on my mind.”

Type Three: Make It Look Like Love

For Type Threes, Valentine’s Day is as much about pride in the relationship as it is about romance. They’re drawn to gestures that feel refined, aesthetically impressive and perhaps a little expensive — the kind that say “we’ve got something special here and we’re worth making an occasion of.” If it earns a few jealous glances or Instagram likes, all the better. 

In practice, that might look like a dramatic bouquet of roses delivered to the workplace or a romantic dinner at a fancy, impossible‑to‑get‑into place everyone’s talking about. While this may feel superficial or performative to some, for Threes it’s simply love expressed in a language they understand.

Type Four: Enjoys Gestures That Feel Real

For Type Fours, expressions of love have to feel authentic and speak to who they are beneath the surface. They aren’t impressed by Valentine’s Day clichés — roses and chocolates feel commercialized and soulless unless they're infused with some deeper meaning. Bonus points if you’ve made something yourself and added a creative, personal touch.

Think a custom box of chocolates, each wrapped in a sweet note recalling a happy memory you share, or a romantic dinner at home with meaningful touches, like a song that played on your first date. If a gesture feels generic or interchangeable, it likely won’t land.

Type Five: Keep It Low-Key

When it comes to classic Valentine’s Day gestures, Type Fives feel indifferent at best and mildly overwhelmed at worst. Over-the-top gifts or public displays of affection, like a large bouquet delivered to the office in front of colleagues, can feel exposing, and leave the Five feeling unsure how to respond. A clichéd Valentine’s gift like boxed chocolates or an oversized plush toy will likely feel… unnecessary, more like a performance than a genuine expression of affection.

Fives tend to prefer something low key and personal, like a book they’ve been wanting to read or tickets to a talk or exhibition that genuinely interests them. They appreciate gifts that show you’ve paid attention to what they care about. If you want to add a hint of romance, keep it quiet and sincere, such as a short handwritten note tucked inside the gift.

Type Six: Plan It Carefully

Type Sixes often have mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day. While they enjoy familiar rituals, they can also get caught up in second-guessing whether their partner’s efforts are sincere. Ideally, they want predictable, well-thought-out gestures that make the relationship feel solid and safe, which you can’t really achieve with clichéd Valentine’s gifts alone.

When you’re planning Valentine’s for a Six, think “clear and considered” rather than “big and mysterious.” For instance, if you’re planning a romantic dinner, tell them the plan, stick to what you’ve promised, and pick a restaurant that feels very “you two” rather than somewhere you chose just because it was on a Valentine’s list or looked impressive. That’s what actually settles their nerves and helps them enjoy it.

Type Seven: Keep It Fun!

Type Sevens don’t mind Valentine’s clichés, but they’ll tune out if the whole thing feels flat or copy‑pasted from previous years. They want excitement and novelty — a new adventure or some twist on tradition rather than the standard script.

If your partner is a Seven, lean into “this will be a story later” energy. Think classic touches like flowers or dinner, but pair them with something unexpected and a little spontaneous, like a  surprise serenade or a night-time city adventure. It’s the element of surprise that makes the gesture memorable for Sevens.

Type Eight: Make It Useful

Type Eights tend to be unimpressed by classic Valentine’s Day gestures because they feel performative and not particularly useful or impactful. They probably won’t complain, but a box of chocolates or a cute heart-shaped trinket barely registers for long. It’s nice in the moment, then gone from their mind.

If you want to impress an Eight, focus on something that feels intentional and clearly tied to their real life. Think along the lines of a high‑quality item they’ll actually use every day, or a bold gesture that shows you’ve been listening, like quietly replacing something they’ve said is broken or long overdue for an upgrade.​

Type Nine: No Pressure, Please!

Type Nines appreciate the sentiment behind classic Valentine’s Day gestures more than the gestures themselves. Flowers, chocolates or a dinner date can genuinely warm their hearts, as long as it doesn’t come with big expectations or a sense that they suddenly have to “perform” at romance in return.

What quickly ruins it for a Nine is feeling boxed in, for example by a formal dress code for a place they don’t really care about, or the sense that there’s only one “right” way for the evening to go. They’re happiest with something low-key and shared, where they can relax into the moment with you, regardless of whether it includes a classic Valentine’s Day touch.