Is It Romance Or Is It Snow-Globing, December’s Toxic Dating Trend?

It’s easy to fall in love at Christmas. The season is practically made for it. There’s mistletoe hanging in the doorways, the sound of carols playing everywhere, and dreamy thoughts of cuddling up by the fire while watching the snow fall. 

But there's a darker side to holiday romances—snow-globing.  It’s when someone acts like they're serious about the relationship during "the most wonderful time of the year", only to dump you once the festivities are over. Before the New Year's countdown reaches zero, poof! Your relationship disappears like the ghost of Christmas past.

Why is it called snow-globing? It's named after those picture-perfect scenes inside snow globes. Everything looks magical and enchanting but, once the glitter settles down, you realize that it's all just fake.

Why Do People Snow-Globe?

It's tough to watch a partner turn from sweet-as-a-sugar-cookie to colder than a snowman, practically overnight. It's even tougher if they went all in for Christmas—planning a holiday getaway, gifting you a chic Christmas present, introducing you to the family as the future Mrs./Mr. Right. Maybe they said “I love you” before pulling a disappearing act, leaving you wondering, "What just happened?”

Snow-globing someone sounds gaslighty and manipulative. But, to be fair, many people who snow-globe don’t do it maliciously. They could simply be getting too caught up in the festive season. That might happen for one of two reasons:

They’re overwhelmed by loneliness

The festive season has a sneaky way of highlighting loneliness because it seems like everyone around you is having a good time. Someone who doesn't have close connections with friends of family might velcro themselves to their dating partner just to fill that void. Even if the relationship has been casual or undefined, they may seek solace in the idea of being with someone when so much is riding on being "coupled up" during the holidays.

They’re caught up in the whirlwind of the season

The pressure to be in a romantic relationship tends to intensify during the holidays. December is by far the most popular month to propose, and even people who are happy being single may decide it's time to find a plus-one. Dating app usage tends to skyrocket in December.

The point is, even the most level-headed person could get swept up in the warm and fuzzies of the festive season and start acting irrationally. The problem is that when the festive season ends, life gets back to normal. The fairy tale fades, and the real work of a relationship begins. And if they weren't truly invested in the first place, well...you know what happens next.

Signs You're Being Snow-Globed

Snow globing shows up in a few different ways, so the first step is identifying that it might be happening. Watch out for the following red flags so you can take action if needed:

They’re love-bombing you

Did someone just show up in your life with a sleigh full of gifts, declaring their love for you after only a few weeks of dating? These are examples of love-bombing, which can take the form of over-the-top romantic gestures or excessive compliments and attention. It's meant to sweep you off your feet, but it can often be a red flag for toxic behavior.

How to deal with it: Although your partner could be communicating through their love style (with a few Christmas lights thrown in), it’s wise to slow down and pace yourself a bit. Ask them why they feel so strongly: “I love how much time you want to spend together, but it's a bit sudden. Tell me more about what you're feeling." This will help you suss out their intentions and prevent heartache down the line. 

They’re eager to meet your family

If you’ve been seeing someone for a while, meeting each other’s family is the next natural step.  But if they’re snow-globing you, they may be pushy about wanting to meet them, even if it’s much too soon.

How to deal with it: Wanting to meet the parents is not actually a sign that they want to commit—or, at least, it's not enough of a sign. Do they speak about your relationship's future, or do they only talk about how amazing it would be to spend Christmas together? Do they make an effort to get to know you, or are they more interested in impressing your mom? Focus on the substance of their actions and words, and bear in mind they might just be trying to keep their festive-season loneliness at bay. 

They magnify the magical moments

Your partner wants to share all the Hallmark moments with you—kissing under the mistletoe, choosing a tree, ice skating, making gingerbread houses, exchanging gifts...they’re going all out! While it could be that they just love Christmas, it could also be a tactic to have someone by their side as they create a picture-perfect holiday season. Are you genuinely making memories together, or do you feel more like the icing than the cake?

How to deal with it: Although it’s fun to experience festive moments together, it's important to talk about your expectations. Do you feel comfortable being their plus-one at the office Christmas party? Are you okay spending more time with them than with your own family? If you feel like it's all too much, don't be afraid to speak up.

They change after the festive season

Sadly, the only real test for how genuine their affections are will come when the festive season comes to an end. If they start to pull away or ghost you, it's a tell-tale sign that they weren't that invested in the first place.

How to deal with it: Take some time to process your feelings, but don't be afraid to have an honest conversation with them. Ask them if they see a future together outside of the festive season, and listen carefully to their response. If it seems like the magic was just temporary for them, it might be time to keep the presents...but ditch the relationship.